Life Sparks

Good Learners

2010-01-26T22:39:00.003+10:30

I've created a web page for my students in the last few weeks and wrote these words in the general announcement section that gets a snippet on the home page...

"We're going to have a great year this year! Not only as a school but as classes too. I look forward to getting to know each one of you as we work together to learn and grow.

I found a wonderful quote over the holidays by an educator called Rob Pelvin, that talks about what it means to be a good learner. It says nothing about being brainy, a neat writer, or the best at tests, but good learners....

• work well with others
• are willing to take risks
• are willing to make mistakes and learn from them
• have a good sense of humor
• teach others

Anyone can learn well if this is the case... so I hope we are not afraid to make our time count this year by giving learning our best!"

Being a follower is very much about being a learner so this list is just as relevant to me as a follower of Christ as it is to me as a learner in life.

Give

2009-12-26T23:23:00.003+10:30

It's holidays. Time to unwind and do a bit of reflection and planning for the year. A small part of my thinking has come about as a result of spending extended time with my parents.

Tonight I've been quite confused about the role my family has played in my choices about giving cheerfully to others. Can we ever really work that sort of stuff out?

Taking a step back and trying not to point the finger or over analyze I’ve ended up with the following as a sense of my intention as I move forward…

Engage with people fully.
Be there.
Listen.
It’s not as difficult as it seems.
Set time aside
to invest in others
and maintain a good foundation
Go about this doing and preparing
slowly and intentionally.
Prioritize
Balance and nurture the
physical
spiritual
emotional you
that makes it possible to give
with a whole heart.
Focus on quality
not quantity.
There’s no need to give
out of guilt or duty
A genuine heart for others
bursts out of fullness
fostered by the fruit of the spirit
and born of love.
Know it.
Enjoy it.
Live in Him.

The flip side

2009-06-14T11:49:00.002+09:30

Have you ever noticed that there are seasons of fruitfulness and others where the tree is dormant? maybe it's full of leaves, but fruitless. This is only natural. A tree can't fruit all year long. On top of that its potential for fruit needs time, water, nutrients, sun.

It's not easy to see productivity and purpose when our soil is being turned, branches pruned and there's months (or years) on end of 'nothing' going on. We can be so fixated on outcomes and so unaware of the importance of the journey.

It came to me this morning. As real as my hunger for God and my own inability are, how can I know His fruiting schedule, or presume to tell Him when fruit should be evident in my life? In all honesty what do I have to complain about anyway. There seems to be leaves sprouting everywhere right now....

* I'm building a house with God's blessing
* There seems to be a purpose for my home because rather than erring on the side of caution in relation to size and mortgage repayments as would seem wise, I felt encouraged to extend myself
* I belong to a church that have accepted me despite my 'spoil brat'ish behaviour.
* The desire to foster young people again is growing week by week and there are already others sensing some leading to support me by offering to train as respite carers.

How it will all pan out is still unknown, but at least there's a flip side to the struggle. Maybe one day I'll be so engrossed again in loving kids around me and trying not to stress about how to meet their needs, that my own will be easier left to God.

Who knows, the emergency chocolate biscuits might even start lasting long enough to make it to home group!!

Journal entries from 1997

2009-06-13T22:55:00.005+09:30

Who knows why I've had the urge to post here. Sometimes I want the world to know, but no one in particular. While I might feel a bit antsy about it, there's something biblical about the fact that my only TWO 'readers' are road sharers though! :)

Anyway, I was folding the clothes tonight sensing that God was wanting a bit of honest time with me. Barely a minute went by before I got snotty and stormed off to get my journals so I could 'prove' to Him that I had nothing new to say. It's all been said in a hundred different ways over 20 or more years of my life. In the first 20 pages of the first of the journals I picked up I read it. The entries I read take up a fair chuck of space but I just want to prove my point. Keep in mind that though the words were written 12 years ago I could have been writing them over the last few days.

1997 JOURNAL ENTRIES

23 February 1997

One of the recurring problems in my life is my lack of self-control – it’s a fruit of the spirit!! My mind has been caught up in confusion again and I’ve been feeling sorry for myself. Will there ever be consistency in my life?!! I am always going to the quick fix or instant gratification. I’m so sick of myself I find it hard in times like this to talk to God about any of it, let alone take the necessary steps to change.

As I wrote the first sentence about self-control as a gift of the spirit I was reminded that it comes back to living in the spirit and choosing God. I feel an aggressive resistance and wonder, even know, I need to stand against the enemy sometime. How I let myself fall for the same attack strategies time after time, I don’t know.

˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜

(This is what I sensed God saying to me at the time... boy did I shed a few tears reading it tonight. I so want it to be true and possible!)

Living in the spirit is to abide in me – it’s the sharing of responsibility. When you are weak, I am strong. I know your greatest weakness, the depth of it, and I love you. To get the job done we have to work together.

In your sin you have become hard and, yes, the enemy has even recognised and taken advantage of your weaknesses and sin, but I have overcome him and make a higher claim. Accept all I've done for you, stand beside me, and in my authority we will subdue him that comes against you.

It can be done! I am about my work and do provide you with all you need so that we can work together. The division of labour is clear in my word, read it and obey! Don’t let obedience be a word that puts fear in your heart because it is a word I will teach you to understand in your spirit. You are confused now but there will come a time when you will teach others what it means to obey.

Read to understand in your spirit. Previously you have known in your head, but you will learn in your spirit truth that will change your heart. It will no longer be a playground for the enemy but a garden for my spirit to delight in. Rest in me and be anxious for nothing – recognise that I have responsibilities that are not left undone. Yours is simply to come to me, to trust that I will do in your heart what needs to be done.

3 March 1997

Proverbs 29:18
NIV “Without a vision the people perish”
NKJV “Where there is no revelation (prophetic vision) the people cast off restraint”

In the concordance ‘vision’ is fairly straight forward. ‘Perish’, on the other hand, is more detailed. The primitive root; to loosen, by implication to expose, dismiss. Fig. absolve, begin, avenge, avoid, bare, go back, (make) naked, set at naught, perish, refuse, uncover.

This is the only time this Hebrew word is used

“My Utmost For His Highest” (Oswald Chambers) is concentrating on vision at the moment. So I have been talking to God. It seems I depend on my idea of marriage for my vision. It's not a healthy one.

I've also been considering how much our ability to capture vision is formed through up-bringing and how much of it is just part of who we are - the old nature nurture issue. Am I stuck with this limited sense of vision I have or can I grow it? It feels like it could be easy to dive for and try to capture vision like some kind of immunisation. Somehow I don't think that's how it works.

Mon 22 September 1997

I don’t read the bible or pray, though God is at the centre of many of my thoughts and plans. I am cold to him in many ways but still have the deep anchor holding me somehow. There is so much to break down; unbelief, independence, rebellion, the hard heart. I don’t know how He will get through but I have to believe He can because I can't.

It’s such a deep ache and feeling of brokenness that when I speak about it I find it hard to get the meaning of my words across. I really have had to learn not to LIVE IN this state all the time. Afterall, there are things to be grateful for and areas in my life where God is as evident as I could hope Him to be.

I want to relearn what Fatherhood means. While I’m enthusiastic, I’m also cautious. These lessons haven’t been learnt very quickly so far, or I am just missing something repeatedly... repeatedly.... rep...

Thursday 18 December 1997

I am sure that this unending hunger to find what is missing has to have a conclusion. So I will keep seeking, as best I can, as painful as it may be, as long as it takes, as blind and helpless as I feel. Greater is He!!

Howdy Kristy!

2009-06-09T05:25:00.005+09:30

Seeing as you're the only one reading my 'irregular' journal at the moment, I figured I may as well write you a dedicated post. Did you know you're standing between me and the unknownesphere? Darn Google Reader!

Out of the ordinary

2009-05-08T23:50:00.005+09:30

I don't post to this blog any more and I don't write poetry either. For the same reasons really. Out of me, they're pretentious. By the time I've strung sentences together about myself, what I'm thinking, doing, planning, experiencing, the self-absorbedness of the whole thing makes me feel nauseated.

But now and then I just write. When something writes itself without me having to think much, it can offer some release. Kind of like when you throw up during a migraine!... but hopefully not as messy!! :)

Hidden

Something inside
But nowhere to let it out?
Too much to hide
More than I’m settled on
There’s got to be
A rainbow somewhere
Hiding
Hiding

More than enough
Quietly waiting
Slowly opening
Placed in the ordinary
Spaces between, light, dark
And somewhere
Hiding
Hiding

What do you see?
Does it matter anyway?
I’m not where they are
Just have to be me
Cause holding a space
As anyone else is
Hiding
Hiding

Something inside
But no way to let it out?
Hold it beside
Your grief for your innocence
Black is the heart
That dies in that moment
Hiding
Hiding

Just hold on to the rain that comes in your dreams
Soak in the love you know somewhere deep
Taken inside
Tucked safe and clean
Know
Your not hidden there
But seen

Spinning woman

2008-09-24T22:00:00.003+09:30

I've been having so much fun the last few days checking out sites on StubleUpon. I won't bore you with all I've come across, but just check this one out!

Make sure you read the blurb under the spinning woman and give it a very close look for a decent length of time. If most of my year 11 Psych class can see her spin both ways I'm sure that most of us can. And if you're really curious to know what's going on it's all about brain lateralisation.... google that! The brain is an interesting thing!

And for those who are really keen, here's some of the best of my list...... And here is the rest of it.

Something that just a bit looks spectacular
Oddities
The best online typing practice program I've found
Postcards with a difference

Mind, migraines, memory and me

2008-08-30T20:13:00.014+09:30

I'm telling some stories about my life today, some things that are painful and mysterious in more ways than one. Mostly because I'm on a journey of discovery amidst it all and am interested in keeping track of the answers I come by and the experiences that shape that future. Be warned, it's a long one....

****

Story No 1

One of the biggest challenges I've had as an individual and as an employee is problems with memory and concentration. Before I was asked to leave my first office job the boss called me into his office to ask if I'd been sexually abused. An interesting conclusion, but he couldn't think of any other reason why someone who scored so high in the company intelligence test, desgined to weed out the dingbats at interview, could be so dumb and prone to so many weird little errors in simple everyday tasks.

By the time I'd worked my way through another few office jobs I realised something needed to be done so I got on the phone for a few hours and found a psychologist who seemed to know what she was talking about. After nearly 4 hours of intelliegence testing she confirmed that no, I didn't lack intelligence but infact, was in the 96 - 98 percentile for logic, problem solving and spacial intelligence. The trouble was my memory, which sat around the 40 percentile. She noticed that I have unusual ways of problem solving, which probably doesn't help with encoding.

At the time I was only interested in what I could possibly do for a living. So, on her recommendation I went to uni and picked something that wouldn't rely specifically on memory. After a Psychology degree I finished up in education. Getting the highest GPA in my course was a real boost, but even then I knew it wouldn't go anywhere near compensating for my deficits. I can't say teaching is ideal for someone in my position but I'm still doing it and giving it my best.

****

Story No 2

I've had migraines since I started high school. They were always the same till I started taking regular medication. I'd get an aura that started in the middle of both eyes and worked its way out to the edges of my eye sight over a half hour period. Then I'd start to feel the headache coming on, and 45 minutes or so after that I'd fell nauseus and start vomiting, grateful every time for the few minutes of relief it brought from the pain.

Fortunately, after a few hours of bouncing around in the dark between my pillow and my bucket I'd sleep the rest off and wake-up later feeling floaty and free.

In my late 20's I had a particularly bad patch of migraines. A crazy Persian doctor friend of mine was called over at all hours of the day and night to inject me with pain relief and I began to wonder what kind of future I had bailed up in my bed. Another migraine sufferer told me about a new drug she was trying, so I started on Propranolol, a drug used to control high blood pressure. Apparently it dilates the blood vessles in the brain, preventing the contriction thought to bring on migraines. I can't imagine what the last ten years would have been like without it, but I'm srarting to wonder if all the niggly headaches and eye disturbances that never end up in a full blown migraine are still dripping away at the corners of my mind, erroding the everyday skills that we take for granted

Tonight I actually decided to move away from the possibilities I've been throwing around in my head for the past few years and have a look at what medical research is saying about the impact of migraines on the brain.

And here's what I've found....

The structure of the brain changes in those who have migraines. They also have a thicker cortex than those who don't. With visual and sensory symptoms comes a greater risk of stoke as some medical people are saying migraines themselves are a transient or mini stroke.

On top of this good news female migrain sufferers are two times more likely to devlop deep white matter lesions than the 'normal' population.

15% of people who get migraines know they're coming because of the aura, visual symptoms like that which I mentioned earlier in my story. This may be a "Cortical Spreading Depression" which passes through the brain like a wave, in effect putting its lights out and preventing neurons (brain cells) from firing. It's may not only be causing the aura and the pain but swelling in the brain which then in turn starve brain cell of oxygen leaving them damaged and less able to communicate with eachother to pass messages around the brain.

So, it's no suprise to me that many researchers believe that... migraines may cause brain damage .There seem to be quite a few studies that indicate migraineurs have deficiencies with tasks involving attention, verbal ability and memory.

I guess as with most research there's always exceptions, I found those too. According to this researcher, I might be one of the lucky ones and be protected against memory loss after 50 because I've had migraines most of my life.

I'd love to find the answer to all this, but in some ways I can see that even if I did, there wouldn't be much I could do about it anyway. I'd still have to manage migraines, deal with the implications of not remembering students names and forgetting exam supervision twice in in two days.

In the end you just have to marvel at the mystery that is this body God made us and get mad about the sin in this world that sends this finely tuned instrument into disharmony in so many different ways. There's no doubt I'd like answers and cures. I hope science works something out what's going on. But I do know that one day it will all be made right. It will be a great day when I'm free of that sinking feeling in my stomach that I can't remember the next word I'm trying to get out of my mouth.

Family: can't live with 'em, can't live with out 'em

2008-08-23T21:33:00.005+09:30

I'm in Adelaide for the weekend at the expense of the department of education. The next lot of Intel training has come at a good time cause I can now be here for some birthday's, Dad's and mine.

We nearly didn't spend tomorrow together though. Tonight there was a little accident... the laptop Dad's taken responsibility for as treasurer of his brass band fell off the recliner and landed on the mouse USB connection point, pulling it all out of wack. Boy did Dad hit the roof. I won't got too far into it, except to say that it was ugly and I wasn't in a state of mind to deal with it.

While he stormed off somewhere I packed. Dragging my bag out to the living room I explained to Mum that I'd sleep at my best friends place and catch up with her for breakfast as planned. Before gathering my things together and dashing out the door before Dad came back, I frantically rushed around to organise Dad's present wrapping so I could at least leave him a reminder that I love him.

Mum was upset as you can imagine, but she only shows it through her pacing and exasperated sighs. While I was writing Dad's name on his envelope and Mum was looking on morbidly, she suddenly sparked up and said...

"It's going to be a bit hard to go anywhere without a car isn't it Jo?"

Yes, I was about to make my big exit and leave Dad to stew, completely forgetting that important detail. I flew to Adelaide this visit.

Mum and I laughed till we cried and I got a coughing fit and asthma induced breathlessness just to really render me speachless. When Dad wandered in to find out what all the noise was about I couldn't even tell him.

So, I'm still here. And Dad has cooled down. Once I'd had my puffer, my laughing turned into a few tears and we had a more sensible talk about the practicalities of getting the damage I'd made fixed. Despite my earlier resolve I'm glad I didn't have my car here tonight.

Once Blind: The Life of John Newton by Kay Marshall Strom

2008-08-21T22:01:00.003+09:30

It's been a long time. Life is so flat out now that I've taken on extra responsibilities at work that I've barely got time to think. I've been catching up on a few unread books lately in my few spare moments before and after sleep to give the ipod a break Last night I finished "Once Blind: The Life of John Newton".

It was probably the most interesting books I've read this year. It was not only well written but was full of believable detail about the very colourful life of the man who wrote Christianity's most heartfelt hymn of praise.

Originally I was drawn to it because of the impact the movie "Amazing Grace" had on me when I saw it last year. I feel blessed to know a little more of the lives of people who have worked together in obedience for such important social change as the abolition of the slave trade.

Having read Strom's interpretation of Newton's life events I'm now pretty curious to know what source materials were available to her. Newton is very much as I'd imagined him, starting out as a debase and rebellious young person to become the man we are more familiar with, very much aware of his humanity and his need of God.

It was the process of change that fascinated me. Newton's conversion was dramatic, but its full impact wasn't realised all at once. It reminded me that God's grace is not only in forgiving us of our past before we knew Him, but of our ignorance of His fullness as we are getting to know Him this side of heaven.

Visit Kay Marshall Strom's website for more information about the author and for those who think they might be interested in finding the book, the publisher is Authentic (January 2, 2008)
ISBN-10: 1934068276, ISBN-13: 978-1934068274

Click here for a read of the first chapter.

Check it out!

2008-07-29T16:34:00.001+09:30

Another podcast worth having a look at....

and if you don't have an ipod to listen and watch with I suggest you start saving. They're revolutionary. I'm hardly ever listening to music but every spare moment is full of new and interesting things!!

Amen

2008-07-18T05:38:00.002+09:30

Want a dose of reality and some good bible teaching in a 20 minute package?... check out what John Bevere has to say here.

I thought I was being a bit self indulgent when I bought my 80Gb ipod, but instead of listening to music I've been listening, sometimes watching, and learning. Every morning before I get up, while I'm travelling, when I need to unwind, when I'm waiting at the physio... no more wasted moments for me.

Podcasts through itunes are generally free so I'm up to date on;

the ABC's Gruen Transfer, a great new show on the ABC, which is going to form the foundation for an up and coming year 8 advertising unit (with some tweeking). Along with a whole heap of other stuff from Catalyst, the science show, to Compass.
the latest in education... there are too many to list and I haven't yet decided which ones are the beset. Watch this space
stuff that's useful for school including classic novels, good solid poetry, a bit of history and info about our planet
Cool stories about people called 'Street Stories'
a whole heap of down-loadable teaching messages - I'm listening to a lot of sovereign grace ministries stuff with affiliates listed here, Joyce Meyer (you can't beat her for practical application) and more, of whom I might talk about later
and, a bit of good ol' Aussie comedy radio like Hamish and Andy (thanks to Matt who suggested some light entertainment). While I'm personally ok with sifting out the inappropriate, any suggestions for places to go for squeaky clean humour, give me a hoy!

Even if you don't have the time or hardware for all this, please do yourself a favour and listen John Bevere's 'Ruling in Life' which you'll find at the bottom right of this screen.

One weird night

2008-07-15T02:55:00.006+09:30

It's cold here, quiet too. I'm housemateless at the moment and even though the girls would generally be asleep at this time of night I feel gloriously alone. No fears of waking the girls up or scaring Esther witless when she stumble out of her room for the toilet to find me pottering around the house.

I thought another update was in order seeing as I've been a bit scarce lately. My role as a teacher has consumed much of my time the last few weeks... 'someone' actually called me a workaholic the other day. It made me laugh as it's the last thing I ever thought I'd be accused of seeing as I'm a couch potato from way back.

But really, I'm ok with that status for now as long as it comes full circle at some stage. I've always said that it's a pity I can't be addicted to something useful like exercise or servanthood. Working hard at being the best teacher I can be has got to be better than food or 'chat' addictions. I'm sure it's just a season and the intensity will 'wear off' in time, but I so relate to what you were saying in your latest post Sam. While I work as unto the Lord I know He and I work together but I'm very aware that my friends and my church are important as is living in a state of balance. In the long term, balance is always a healthier place to be.

For those up for it I've just posted on my 'work' blog so you can catch up on all my news there. If you're wondering what I'm doing posting at 3am... I went to the physio yesterday about my 'mouse' arm (I tell the truth, I have damaged the muscles in my right forearm from excessive mouse clicking) and came out with spots in my eyes. The migraine followed and after 5 hours of sleep (no chunder much to my disappointment!) I woke up at 10.30pm and decided to start my evening then. I've watched a movie in bed on my ipod, made some tea and spent a few hours... guess where?!

Bed time now though, so signing out. Many blessings!

Jo :)

Something to question

2008-06-29T07:56:00.006+09:30

We're more than half way through the Intel Teach Program and so far I'm having a great time. It's not without it's challenges but all-in-all I'm feeling more confident already with using technology in my teaching and passing my new knowledge on to others. For more of my thoughts on the course so far head over to my work blog for a day by day run down.

Yesterday I took a trip to Koorong, seeing as it's sale time, to stock up on all the books I've been after. I found this totally pertinent book called "Habits of the High-tech Heart: Living Virtuously in the Information Age" by Quentin Schultze. It has already challenged me and started to address some of my recent concerns about my personal direction as a technology enthusiast.

I'm only up to the end of chapter two so far but what Schultze has to say is really gelling with me already. It's like a lot of things in life... the problem is rarely the tool itself but the heart with which we use it.

As I read I'm reminded of the historical philosophers, Plato and Aristotle, whom I studied and wrote about in my education minor at uni. If a measure of effectiveness, or advantage, to society is contribution to "the greater good" then the internet has questionable benefit because of the ugliness we see there amidst the shared knowledge. Die-hards might believe we have hit the jackpot with the Wests easy access to information, but if you think about it unresticted, and often-times unmanagable, misinformation, viruses, advertising and pornography actually pose indeterminable and immeasurable threat. I tend to agree with this author when he says that we really need to be more aware of the dangers information technology pose to our social and personal inner well-being. It's been in the back of my mind as I've moved closer toward it.

Schultz is not black and white about it all though. This quote sums up the gist of what I'm 'hearing' so far...

"Of course, dismantling all information technologies is not a realistic or even a good solution. Wholesale destruction is both impractical and rash - a quick fix technique with no lasting value. Instead, we have to give as much attention to the habits of our heart as we do to our cyber-endeavours. We need to understand information technologies in the light of the virtues nurtured histrically... Christian traditions are a rich sources of moral wisdom that can virtuously shape informational practices." p.21

I'm looking forward to being taught in greater depth how my faith can be practically worked out even in the way I use and approach technology, maybe even in the way I teach it. Who ever would have thought there was such a book on the market!

Intel teach

2008-06-21T07:17:00.002+09:30

Only three more sleeps till I fly to Adelaide for the previously mentioned Intel Teach Program.... yes, I am excited. There are several reasons...

I get to learn and play around with stuff that I not only enjoy but that will benefit me as a professional and help me teach my kids better.
I'm staying here for a whole week (weekend included & at not cost to myself) so will be able to eat, walk, photograph, meet friends and shop to my hearts content.
I may very well have access to full-time access to a laptop seeing as I'll be a "master trainer" come the end of term.

It's been a bit of a wild ride lately trying to get marking, report writing and relief lessons for a weeks classes ready in time but I think I'm on target. I find it difficult to grasp why these Intel people would want to hold a training course at the end of a term!!

Seasons

2008-06-12T05:50:00.003+09:30

Where have I been?

At this end of the term I think you can guess. As a teacher I feel like a farmer... working in the elements, planting and reaping, living by the regular pattern of the seasons. Soon, some morning when I'm not intending to get to school before the sun, I might dwell on this some more but for now I think you get the point.

We had some sad news yesterday. One of our year 9 boys committed suicide on Tuesday afternoon. While the district office and our leadership team have handled it really well, a lot of people have been deeply affected. I would appreciate your prayers for the boys family and friends, and our school community.

A life is so important. This lad made a mistake he can never take back. As difficult as things were for him, he was precious and I am sad that he will now only be 'remembered'. His larger than life presence, his humour, his great beam and the troubles that lead him to take his own life will never form part of the great tapestry that is a lifetime. If only he could have seen who he really was and could be.

Ruby Among Us by Tina Ann Forkner

2008-05-28T17:17:00.003+09:30

This week, the
Christian Fiction Blog Alliance
is introducing
Ruby Among Us
(WaterBrook Press May 20, 2008)
by
Tina Ann Forkner
My review:

I couldn't put this one down. The characters and setting were inviting and exotic, without being painfully grandiose. Lucy's initial meek reserve seemed to provide the perfect balance to her mother and grandmother's excesses, while her growth in confidence through the course of the book made the climax all the more fulfilling.

Events occurring across various time frames are cleverly knit together to tell a story full of twists and turns. Being so enthusiastic to discover the truth of this family's past, it was easy to over look the slightly cliche elements pivotal to the plot.

Tina has shown the powerful interplay between the life experiences of three generations of women, shining a light on their humanity and the importance God's grace and forgiveness in the midst of it. I love the richness of "Ruby Among Us" and recommend it to anyone looking for something unique to read.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Tina Ann Forkner writes contemporary fiction that challenges and inspires. Originally from Oklahoma, she graduated with honors in English from CSU Sacramento before ultimately settling in the wide-open spaces of Wyoming where she now resides with her husband and their three children. Tina serves on the Laramie County Library Foundation Board of Directors and enjoys gardening, spending time outdoors with her family, and works as a full-time writer.

ABOUT THE BOOK

Sometimes, the key that unlocks your future lies in someone else’s past...

In Ruby Among Us, Lucy DiCamillo is safely surrounded by her books, music, and art─but none of these reclusive comforts or even the protective efforts of her grandmother, Kitty can shield her from the memory of the mother she can no longer remember. Lucy senses her grandmother holds the key, but Kitty seems as eager to hide from the past as Lucy is eager to find it.

From the streets of San Francisco and Sacramento, to the lush vineyards of the Sonoma Valley, Lucy follows the thread of memory in search for a heritage that seems long-buried with her mother, Ruby.

What she finds is enigmatic and stirring in this redemptive tale about the power of faith and mother-daughter love.

“What an incredible story. As both mothers and daughters, Ruby Among Us struck a special cord in each of the four of us. Tina writes in a way that makes us feel like we’re there; from the first line, we were captivated and drawn into an intricate weaving of the precious and fragile relationships that define us.”
~Point of Grace~

“Reading is a passion of mine, and when I find myself identifying with the characters, anxious to get to the next page to find answers to my questions, I know I’m into a good book! The daughter-mother-grandmother theme in Ruby Among Us pulled me in. Wonderful story-telling.”
~Jordin Sparks~, 2007 winner of American Idol

“Highly recommended. If you’re a mother or daughter, you’re going to love Ruby Among Us. Forkner does an extraordinary job…. I look forward to more from this author.”
~Ane Mulligan~, Novel Journey

“Don’t miss this one! Tina Ann Forkner is a strong new voice in fiction and Ruby Among Us is an amazing story of trials, regrets, and, ultimately, redemption. Lucy and her family history in the historic wine country of Sonoma bring to life the Scriptures about the Vine and His branches.”
~Kristin Billerbeck~, author of The Trophy Wives Club

If you would like to read the first chapter go HERE.

A side on look at a broken heart

2008-05-25T20:19:00.007+09:30

I asked Kristy if I could share some photos I took of her during the time I stayed. I didn't want to point the camera at her the whole week, but the shots I did get sum up how things are for her right now.

In this first one she's sitting on the hay stack I mentioned here, gazing off in the distance waiting for me to take a photo of something that she thought wasn't her.

While I was there Kristy brought her laptop out of the cold back office into the very cosy wood heated lounge room. If she wasn't on the recliner with it, she was on the floor or standing at the sideboard. Sometimes, when she got a thoughtful email or a touching comment, the tiredness on her face would part way for a smile, or even a chuckle. She really is greatly blessed and encouraged by those who show they care by email or blog, whether they are near or far away.

Here are just some of the friends she talks about on her blog, gathered around and hanging out... Matt & Sal (the one in blue behind Kristy who, when this photo was taken, was about 10 days off giving birth to Ben) and Tracey & Simun (yes, he's the 'one in every group')! We're both blessed to have them in our 'family'.

To our fellow FIRST & CFBA book reviewers... notice those packed book shelves. There are more where they come from, believe me. I came home with so many books I want to read that I don't know if I'll ever get to write my own reviews for a very long time. At least not for a good few months - copy and paste's it'll have to be.

So, keep praying for Kristy and Steve's parents... and those you know who have lost loved ones. It's a testing time when the prayers and support of others make all the difference.

A point to ponder

2008-05-24T18:45:00.004+09:30

Watch your thoughts, for they will become your words. Choose your words, for they become actions. Understand your actions, for they become your habits. Study your habits, for they will become your character. Develop your character, for it becomes your destiny.

John Hagee

This quote was used by Dr Don Colbert in "Deadly Emotions - understanding the mind-body-spirit connection that can heal" or destroy you. It's a very interesting book and talks about how unresolved issues in our lives can directly effect our health. What I really like about it is that it doesn't just outline the problem but it talks about how you can actually address the root issues with God's help. Worth a read!

Still photo resizing the long way?

2008-05-24T17:59:00.003+09:30

Batch resizing is probably old news to some but I've only just found a really handy free tool that makes resizing photo's for the web a whole lot simpler. It's called Batch Resizer 3.0 and it can do just as much as programs worth $40 or more. I haven't explored all its capabilities yet but the one click process for converting all my pictures for the last post was enough for me.

A taste of country #2

2008-05-22T22:10:00.028+09:30

As promised, here are the photos taken while staying 'out bush' last week...

It's a beautiful time of year in the Mount. Even before I left, this tree in Kristy's 'front yard' had almost dropped all its leaves

You might see close behind a hint of the hay stack that nestles beneath the pine trees... this particular nook is a favourite place for the lady of the house.

The 'back yard' is full of fruit trees, with a home made spot to rest a while. There will be another installment concerning fruit in coming days...

This is the view from the kitchen window in the evening!

Behind the yard and the old chook shed are the mandatory piles of scrap metal, antiquated farming machinery and the wooden window frames left over from the latest renovations - they made a nice arty shot I thought!

More practice with Dad's SLR will improve this shot, but I love the 'idea' of it anyway. I'd call it "I can still see you".

I got some action shots of this fella playing in the trough, but I won't bore you with the whole series

Driving back and forth from town to the farm for school each day, I soon spied a few spots for good shots along the road....

For those who are interested in such things, these photo's were taken with a Pentax K100D SLR & 18-200mm Sigma lens. I don't claim to be an expert and had to fiddle around a bit to get shots that I thought were half decent, but I'm hoping to learn a bit more soon enough. Maybe I'll be back to the same subjects for another go when I've learned the art of photography

Embrace Me by Lisa Samson

2008-05-20T05:40:00.000+09:30

This week, the
Christian Fiction Blog Alliance
is introducing
Embrace Me
(Thomas Nelson March 4, 2008)
by
Lisa Samson

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Lisa Samson is a Christy Award-winning author of 19 books, including the Women of the Faith Novel of the Year, Quaker Summer. Lisa has been hailed by Publishers Weekly as "a talented novelist who isn't afraid to take risks."

In Embrace Me, the latest novel by acclaimed author Lisa Samson, readers are privy to the realization that regardless of outward appearances…hideous, attractive, or even ordinary…persons are all looking for the same things: love, forgiveness, and redemption.

This story explores a world that is neither comfortable nor safe, a world that people like Valentine know all too well. Masterfully crafted by Samson and populated by her most compelling cast of characters yet. It is a tale of forgiveness that extends into all spheres of life: forgiving others, forgiving oneself, forgiving the past.

She lives in Lexinton, Kentucky, with her husband and three kids.

ABOUT THE BOOK

Biting and gentle, hard-edged and hopeful...a beautiful fable of love and power, hiding and seeking, woundedness and redemption.

When a "lizard woman," a self-mutilating preacher, a tattooed monk, and a sleazy lobbyist find themselves in the same North Carolina town one winter, their lives are edging precariously close to disaster...and improbably close to grace.

Valentine, due to her own drastic self-disfigurement, ahs very few friends in this world and, it appears as if she may be destined to spend the rest of her life practically alone. But life gives her one good friend, Lella, whose own handicap puts her in the same freakish category as Valentine. As part of Roland's Wayfaring Marvel and Oddities Show, a traveling band of misfits, they seem to have found their niches in an often curiously cruel world.

Residing in a world where masks are mandatory, Valentine has a hard time removing hers, because of her disfigured face but more so because of her damaged soul. It is much easier for her to listen endlessly to different versions of a favorite song, Embraceable You, and escape reality. Yet, life has more in store for her when she meets Augustine, replete with the tattoos, dreadlocks, and his own secrets. With his arrival, Valentine's soul takes a turn.

If you would like to read the first chapter, go HERE

A taste of country

2008-05-15T20:40:00.005+09:30

I've been staying with Kristy this week... 'baby-sitting', as she calls it. Honestly though, being with Kristy is a pleasure. Slowly but surely this brave girl is taking little steps toward a life without her much loved husband.

It's beautiful out here. I can see why Kristy is at home. We wake up 360 degrees of mist covered green paddocks of cattle and lambing sheep, the fruit trees are fully laden, the deciduous trees are dropping their leaves, the hay bails are stacked high along the side of the property, and sunrise and sunset are there in all their glory from the kitchen window and on the 20 minute drive back from school at the end of the day.

Keep your eyes peeled (or google reader regularly checked, as the case may be) .... when I get back home I'll post the experiemental photos I've been taking around here on Dad's digital SLR.

Peaceful heart inducing for sure! So. Kristy's in the right place. May she know this sustaining quiet within more everyday.

Healing Promises by Amy Wallace

2008-05-15T17:16:00.001+09:30

This week, the
Christian Fiction Blog Alliance
is introducing
Healing Promises
(Multnomah Publishers - April 15, 2008)
by
Amy Wallace

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Amy Wallace is the author of Ransomed Dreams, a homeschool mom, and a self-confessed chocoholic. She is a graduate of the Gwinnett County Citizens Police Academy and a contributing author of several books, including God Answers Moms’ Prayers and Chicken Soup for the Soul Healthy Living Series: Diabetes. She lives with her husband and three children in Georgia.

ABOUT THE BOOK

Facing a new threat.
When FBI Agent Clint Rollins takes a bullet during a standoff, it might just save his life. But not even the ugly things he’s seen during his years working in the Crimes Against Children Unit could prepare him for the overwhelming powerlessness of hospital tests revealing an unexpected diagnosis. If only Sara weren’t retreating into doctor mode…he needs his wife now more than ever.

Frozen in fear.
Sara Rollins is an oncologist with a mission–beating cancer when she can, easing her patients’ suffering at the very least. Now the life of her tall Texan husband is at stake. She never let the odds steal her hope before, but in this case, the question of God’s healing promises is personal. Can she hold on to the truth she claimed to believe?

Faith under fire.
As Clint continues to track down a serial kidnapper despite his illness, former investigations haunt his nightmares, pushing him beyond solving the case into risking his life and career. Clint struggles to believe God is still the God of miracles. Especially when he needs not one, but two. Everything in his life is reduced to one all-important question: Can God be trusted?

If you would like to read the first chapter, go HERE.

One of life's little (mis)adventures

2008-05-07T22:36:00.005+09:30

In yet another attempt to 'guilt trip' myself into doing some kind of exercise I bought myself a flash bike ....

This week I've been riding it to work and back. That may sound pretty impressive but it takes me all of 8 minutes and there are hardly any hills to speak of til the end of the day when I walk up our mini mountain.

Tonight I made up my mind to push it to a 15 minute cycle to house church - my first night ride. I left plenty of time and sailed down the slope gleefully... until I faced a car coming around the corner and realised I hadn't put my new lights on. I pulled up out of the way and felt around for a light switch of some kind but it was so cold I gave up pretty quickly and, horrified at the thought of going back for the car, took the back way instead. The way I'd never actually got right driving in the car before... perhaps, the way I never should have gone!

Fourty-five minutes later after; being forced to leave the quiet well lit streets of the next suburb; dodging the occasional car on otherwise dark empty roads; and doing numerous loops around the back blocks of Mount Gambier, I finally recognised the right turn off and victoriously peddled into the inviting hearth where my friends had gathered.

It's amazing what can give you a buzz sometimes. I was just in the mood to be lost in the cold with no way of really seeing the ground ahead and nothing but my pretty pathetically weak legs to get me through. But now that I'm home trying not to shiever in my sweat soaked track clothes and feeling the ache deep in my quads, I wonder if I might have got a bit too carried away. .. what dill rides a bike in the dark with no lights on when she doesn't know where she's going!!!???

.....Naaah!

I'd do it again!!

Don't tell anyone but I felt for my mobile phone a few times just to make sure it was still in my pocket ;)

The Warriors by Mark Andrew Olsen

2008-05-07T21:52:00.002+09:30

This week, the
Christian Fiction Blog Alliance
is introducing
The Warriors
(Bethany House April 1, 2008)
by
Mark Andrew Olsen

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

MARK ANDREW OLSEN whose novel The Assignment was a Christy Award finalist, also collaborated on bestsellers Hadassah (now the major motion picture: One Night With the King), The Hadassah Covenant, and Rescued. His last novel was the supernatural thriller The Watchers.

The son of missionaries to France, Mark is a Professional Writing graduate of Baylor University. He and his wife, Connie, live in Colorado Springs with their three children.

ABOUT THE BOOK

A failed recon mission deep in the tunnels of Afghanistan has provoked a demonic onslaught that had been brewing for centuries. The mission's sole survivor is reformed black ops assassin Dylan Hatfield, and he once again teams up with Abby Sherman, now at the helm of the Watchers, an ancient spiritual force. Uncovering and preventing a secret wave of death whispered across cyberspace and threatening to be unleash against civilization will require another level of spiritual power and expertise--the Warriors.

Journeying across the Alps of Europe through the multilayered history of warfare in the unseen world, Dylan and Abby uncover an age-old stone engraving that rouses the church's Warriors to action, placing them dead center in one of the fiercest spiritual battles of their time!

And once again they are reminded: This is all part of a vast and perpetual war, a war beyond all human conflicts, one that has engulfed heaven and earth since before the dawn of history....

Abby Sherman is headed back to Israel, where a Watcher, the Sentinel of Jerusalem, lies dying. In her last breaths the old woman tells Abby of an ancient document prophesying humanity's full-scale entry into the ongoing conflict between armies of heaven and fallen angels.

Dylan Hatfield has decided to answer a summons from his old boss and join a secret operation, its mission to reconnoiter the Afghani tunnel complex from which Osama bin Laden escaped in 2001. What he discovers sears his very soul and likely will end his life.

Abby learns of the peril facing Dylan, and she sends out a call for intercession on his behalf. Her frantic email message sets in motion a series of harrowing events, propelling the two on a new mission and quest--one where the stakes are the lives of millions!

The Warriors is packed with high-octane action, featuring exotic international locales, with characters in a clash against spiritual "principalities and powers" with eternal consequences, The Warriors is a story that will enthrall, enlighten, and engage its readers.

If that piques your interest, you can read the first chapter HERE

"Olsen, one of the better writers in this subgenre, delivers powerful, action-packed plots that delve into mystical paranormal worlds."
~Library Journal, Feb. 2008

"Olsen delivers an entertaining thriller likely to be enjoyed especially by fans of the spiritual warfare genre."
~PUBLISHERS WEEKLY

I haven't received this book yet but it sounds so good I'll be getting into it as soon as it arrives!

The Big Picture by Jenny Jones

2008-05-03T08:06:00.000+09:30

This week, the
Christian Fiction Blog Alliance
is introducing
The Big Picture
(NavPress Publishing Group April 15, 2008)
by

Jenny B. Jones

About the Author

Jenny B. Jones is the author of A Katie Parker Production series. The other books in the series are In Between (which was just named as a finalist for a 2008 Christy Award) and On The Loose. Though now an adult, she still relates to the trauma and drama of teen life. She is thrilled to see her writing dreams come true, as her previous claim to fame was singing the Star Spangled Banner at a mule-jumping championship. (The mules were greatly inspired.)

Jenny resides in Arkansas, where, as a teacher, she hangs out with teens on a regular basis.

About the Book:

Sometimes there’s a fine line between comedy and tragedy—and Katie Parker is walking it.

Just as school winds down for the summer, Katie comes home to find a big surprise on the Scotts’ front porch—her mother. Bobbie Ann Parker, newly released and reformed, has come to reclaim her daughter and start fresh in a town far from her foster family. Katie is forced to walk away from In Between, leaving behind a family who loves her, a town drive-in to save, and a boyfriend who suddenly can’t take his eyes off his ex. When the life her mother promised begins to sink faster than one of Maxine’s stuffed bras, Katie knows she needs to rely on God to keep it together. But where is he in all this? Can Katie survive a chaotic life with her mother—and one without the Scotts? And if God is there, will he come through before it’s too late?

A Katie Parker Production series offers teen girls real-world fiction balanced by hope and humor. The The Big Picture helps us realize that the difficult chapters in our journey are only part of God's big story for our lives.

You can read the first chapter HERE.

"A heroine to love. Jones just gets better with every book, and The Big Picture is her best one yet."
~BARBARA WARREN, author of The Gathering Storm

"Such inspiration in a package of fun and faith!"
~EVA MARIE EVERSON, author of the Potluck Club series

Respect Corner #2: Goodbye Gramps

2008-04-30T04:45:00.015+09:30

Yesterday we said goodbye to Grandpa. He was 96 when he died, what a good solid life!

My Dad took this photo not all that long ago. I don't know if you can see it here like I do but Grandpa had a spark of love in his eye for his family. In the last few years he would hold your hand, squeeze it tight and give you the loveliest smile. It said it all.

Gramps has always been a family man. My uncle wasn't around for this next photo, but it's the day he got the highest scouting award in his time as commissioner of scouts in Whyalla. I love this photo cause it shows what kind of people my Grandparents were... stylish, willing to serve their community, close.

Dad has always had a wonderful relationship with his father and right to the end they stuck together like glue. I'm so proud of the way Dad loved him in practical ways; taking him out for day trips, making sure he had nibbles, seeing him three times a week at the home, taking care of the little things that get so hard when your old. I couldn't have had a better example of love. Not that dissimilar to how Grandpa cared for Gran for all the years they were at home getting older together.

This is grandpa and I when I was young. He was there from the start, showing interest in my life, nurturing my interests and encouraging me to think responsibly. After I gave him a story of mine to read he gave me books about grammar and writing and even gave creative writing a go himself.... I still have his rabbit story.

We will miss John Keith Richards for many reasons. He was the best! But I'm so glad he had such a full, meaningful life. I'll treasure my memories of him and enjoy the benefits of his love always.

Technology really is something else

2008-04-26T22:57:00.004+09:30

I've just been visiting a colleagues teaching blog tonight where I've finally spent some time catching up on all his discoveries. Well, I just got my hands on all the google apps suite in one hit, and I'm excited!

If you aren't already familiar, here's a cute video to introduce just one...

Friend of sinners... and their friends

2008-04-25T05:59:00.019+09:30

In the last few months I've tapped into a circle of US Baptist Evangelicals via several different channels...

Through South East Country Wife I discovered Carolyn McCulley at Radical Womanhood who in turn pointed me to the messages provided online for free through Sovereign Grace Ministries (which is affiliated with her church).
Recently I was sent a book to review through Non-First called Do Hard Things by Alex & Brett Harris. They are the brothers of Josh Harris, an even more famous Christian author, who happens to be one of the Sovereign Grace Ministries team.
While blog surfing several months ago I independently came across what has become a blog I read regularly called Pyromaniacs. The guys who contribute here are part of the same circle as Sovereign Grace, attend their conferences (the latest of which was T4G 08) & link regularly with a similar crowd.

Through these guys I've been introduced to the latest evangelical buzz words and challenges (eg. postmodernism, the emerging church) and it reminds me... when you 'belong', you're actually aligning yourself with a movement and are influenced by this groups doctrine, their approach to faith, their values and priorities.

When I have moved geographical location I have been exposed to different denominations. So I've belonged, to varying degrees, to the Uniting Church of the 1970 & 80's, an independent brethren type group, and two separate pentecostal denominations. Visiting my brother in his intentional community with its social gospel foundation, has exposed me to yet another angle that I have not leant toward myself.

I'm thankful for these experiences because they have enriched me in many ways, but belonging has made me aware, perhaps even wary, of the power of a group and the finite nature of the human social experience in our spiritual growth. It's become second nature to subconsciously identify who the pastor/leader is listening to, which group of people speak at important group events, what slant these people are coming from etc.

I don't just go to a church, but after a year attending I am beginning to belong. You might see then, that this has its implications for me. It's interesting that I am not only belonging to an evangelical church, but am choosing to take part in an evangelical online community (as opposed to belonging, by the way). But how are these evangelical communities different? what is similar? what affect does being half a world away make? Over time I expect my questions will take on a less functional bent and become more personally practical; what am I 'heart' learning from this/these group/s? are these things positive and biblically desirable? Am I missing anything I should be learning?

(Who knows, I might even come to the point where I'm willing to ask myself what I have to offer??? - but that's another story)

For all my reservations is God himself concerned with the limitations of denomination?

from the Pryomaniacs blog

The original reason for writing was simply to refer you to a post by Dan Phillips titled, the accountability thing. I can see why I got off on the tangent I did. My brain must have decided it was just too ironic that this post popped up so soon after good house church friends spent an hour or so the other night talking to me about the advantages of accountability. So far it's looking like an example of just how gracious God is in using our social/spiritual circles of influence.

We, and the groups we form, might be limited - but He's certainly not!!

Gardening marathon

2008-04-22T08:03:00.039+09:30

As those who pop in regularly may know, I've been working on a monumentous garden project for the last few months. It may only be a department of education house but I call it home. This means that the $1000 garden grant I procured was joyfully received.

For those of you who just aren't into gardening I understand why you'd want to skip the gazillion before and after shots I'm about to post.... it's not normally my thing either. But what better place to record my garden grow than here!!

For those who can spare the time please join me on my journey so far...

Last winter the place was looking pretty shabby. The garden beds were completely covered in sticky weed, sometimes up to mid thigh height. Initially the big motivator for dealing with the jungle was to make sure the garden was presentable for a very special friend's outdoor kitchen tea in Spring. While the garden was looking pretty shmick for the event, it was then that my mind started ticking over with ideas.

Once denuded of weeds, the side of the house was desolate. It didn't look overly attractive from our kitchen and dining room windows and we also needed a screen from the neighbors who walk down their side access path regularly. In other parts of the garden the existing plants were healthy but straggly for lack of a good prune. While they were far better after the once over, I was getting the bug.

So over several weeks I pottered around on the weekends sawing down tree limbs and pulling out shrubs, trying to work out what was actually worth keeping. Toward the end I was very pleased to have the help of Leroy the garden maintenance man and his team.... and my trusty Dad! Needless to say, there wasn't much left by the end.

Slotted in along the way Dad and I collected manure and compost to turn into the soil so it could brew in the months leading up to planting. If you have a look at my Dad's face you may get some idea of how he felt about this exercise.

One of the most enjoyable parts of my first gardening project was deciding what to put in. As I knew absolutely NOTHING to start with I did a lot of internet research. By the time my parents arrived for the Easter planing I'd come up with a selection of plants I thought would work together well here. With the help of a very helpful nursery owner the final mix was brought in.

So the final stages of transformation began ....

Looking up the driveway where the green waste had been piled, there is now a neat little row of Sysygium green box that will grow into a hedge as tall as the fence. When we tried to plant the white weeping cherry that was supposed to nestle here, we discovered an old underground concrete drain about a foot down. That dashed our hopes of planting any kind of tree (and explains why the origainal tree blew down). It was a bit of a disappointment at first, but I saved a lot of money going for the standard iceberg rose instead. I've been thinking of placing shorter versions of the rose either side of the 4 foot, and maybe dwarf agapanthus as a boarder. But there's no rush for that.

The beautiful tree in the side garden, which I discovered only has a few years left in it....

looks a bit more like this now...

The opposite corner of this area was the most difficult to know what to do with, seeing as it didn't look that bad to start with.

But by the time a few overgrown trees were taken out it was pretty obvious that what was left wouldn't work on its own. While the new look corner isn't quite as lush and green, nor as effective at covering the fence, given 5 years I'm sure the carefully placed conifers, standard lillipilli, nandina and orange blossom will look great. No doubt the surprise mandarin tree right in the corner will bear fruit now too, seeing as it's finally getting some light.

In the front garden the brick fence is even uglier. I'm hoping that with the individual garden beds removed and some additional conifers, standard lillipilly's and nandina's, it now has the potential to be more than an overgrown daisy bush and sticky weed playground.

To top it all off that horrible back door access footpath now has the beginnings of a lillipilly hedge and a little herb garden. Herbs that Esther and I will use very well I'm sure.

You may notice a few weeds already growing up among my fine looking herbs. It's an ongoing issue, as any gardener knows, but I'm thankful that I have finally discovered Round Up. In the 3 days since spraying, already the poison is working its magic.

There are a few finishing touches left to keep me occupied over the weekends to come, such as distributing the last of the mulch, top dressing the lawns and planting white and purple bulbs. But in reality, I'm sure it's just the beginning. No doubt the new garden shed that's being put in soon, and my brand spankin' new mower & edge trimmer, will be getting regular work outs.

And so ends the introductory installment of my first foray into the gardening world. I think quick updates every year or so will be all you have to endure in the future. In the meantime local readers can feel free to drop by any time with their gardening gloves in hand.

For a message to my sponsors....

No large project is ever a one woman show, so I'd like to thank...

Dad, for two trips to Mt Gambier to be my brawn - I couldn't have done it without you Dad. It was your 'bull at a gate' mentality that got us through! I'm sure any mammoth agapanthus would quake at the site of you.

Mum, for withholding her fear that I was taking on to much and sacrificing herself for the sake of my dreams - your aching overworked body was testament to your love for me Mum. I promise I'll never ask you to do anything like it again (but that doesn't include packing up my kitchen next time I move does it!?)

Rita, for her ideas and wise advice to wait til summer was over to plant - it probably saved me my sanity through those hot spells we had. By the way, your endless energy in maintaining such a huge and spectacular garden will always be an inspiration to me.

Simun, for the ****(manure) - what can I say, it was quality stuff!! You can tell that farmer friend of yours that I now understand why he likes to play with it.... I'll be back for more.

Matt, for so gracefully accepting that the tray on his ute is now permanently on a slope - it was actually Simun's **** (manure) that did it!!!

Tracey, for talking and weeding alongside me - your willingness to support me where the rubber hits the road will be remembered. You can count that as an IOU.

Esther & Christine, for their patience in listening to me yabber on about boring old gardening all the time and for not complaining when I trapesed dirt through the house - it's cool house mates like you that make doing the garden worthwhile in the first place. Wouldn't be half the home it is without you.

THE END (gee, credit writing is fun! *note to self... find excuses to write more of them)

Only Madagascar

2008-04-21T22:09:00.002+09:30

Have you ever bought anything on sale, just cause it was cheap, then totally fallen in love with it only to find it's no longer on the market or is as rare as hens teeth? I thought I was lost without my Estee Lauder 'Crystal' Pure Color Gloss, but what's a girl to do when only one elusive line chocolate will truly satisfy?

In the Easter sales I bought a Lindt chocolate egg gift set for half price.... for myself of course! :) It happened to contain the two single origin chololate blocks Lindt Australia are still supposed to be producing. The Madagascar got my attention from the moment I broke open the foil. As good as it smelt, this chocolate was like nothing I've tasted before, with a hint of vanilla accentuating a very distinct, yet smooth, 65% cocoa dark chocolate. In an attempt not to be completely greedy it was the block I shared so it was a short few minutes of delight I have been very enthusiastic to experience again.

It's been over three weeks now and I still haven't spotted Madagascar in any of the usual spots Lindt appears. Short of taking a drive to the concept store in Sydney I guess I'll be waiting for another random appearance to indulge my exotic taste in chocolate. When you can't even get it on eBay you know things are looking bad!!!.

There's no more to.

FYI

2008-04-17T11:05:00.005+09:30

SASTA conference 2008
I spent a few days at a science teachers conference in Adelaide early this week and if anyone's interested in finding out what a humanities teacher can possibly get out of science conference sessions about citizen science, polar expeditions & understanding what science education is for (installment to come) it's all there in the links.

Sovereign Grace Ministries MP3s
I've spent a few hours multi-taking and downloading a large number of messages from recent SCM conferences. Local bloggers interested in sharing these with me, don't hesitate to ask. All others, they're all free to download and are well worth a listen.

The latest

2008-04-12T07:11:00.011+09:30

Adelaide
Term 1 holidays are here and Esther, Christine and I (the current household mentioned here) were in the car 15 minutes after the bell Friday for the 5 hour drive to Adelaide. Besides a bit of socialising and shopping my main reason for going was to attend the SASTA (Science teacher's) conference.

It's good to have a few days out of your normal environment. Now that I'm back in the Mount a part of me feels refreshed and ready to get into the odd jobs and lifestyle change I've lined up for the next 10 days.

For more D&M stuff...

Grief
I read Kristy's latest blog last night. It affected me in a way I don't understand fully. I pushed through writing the beginning of my work blog but didn't have the heart to finish. At dinner 'out' with my parents nothing seemed worth talking about and I didn't feel like eating much (a very unusual state of affairs!)

I've been reading a book I bought at Koorong this weekend called Deadly Emotions: Understand the mind-body-spirit connection that can heal or destroy you. I'm only half way through so I haven't got to the bit with all the answers yet, but by bed time I thought it was probably a good idea to talk to God about what might be troubling me so deeply, rather than letting it 'fester and rot'. I didn't seem to get far. As soon as I started describing the despairing sadness I felt for Kristy I began to cry hysterically. When I calmed down I would try to talk again and the tears would start all over.

I don't think I have been given a special 'God given burden' for Kristy, nor do I feel I was so close to Steve that I would be feeling deep personal grief. Maybe it's this...

for the year that they were together I think I lived my dream through them in some way. I delighted in seeing two people I respected, and had come to care for, enjoying the blessing of a God ordained relationship, and marriage, like that I have longed for myself. Now that it's all changed I guess I have to face the realities of life - God ordained relationships aren't 'it', for me or those around me. I just don't get what he's up to with any of us. What is there in this life and how can can a person come to a place of clarity amidst so much need and disappointment?

Twins with a twist

2008-04-08T20:06:00.007+09:30

I was just watching the latest Insight forum on SBS and came across these twin sisters and their story. I've never seen anything like it really... still freaked out by it. I never would have thought there could be twins like them.

So far I haven't worked out how to link directly to the clip of their part in tonights episode, but if you go to Insights home page they will be up there as part 1 of 3 for at least a week. Otherwise, just do a search on 'Insight Two of a Kind - the story' and you might pull it up from the archives.

It's just interesting... well I think so.

They say the same thing at the same time ALL the time!!! My suspicious minds can't help wondering how much of it is practiced over so many years together, but then again, even with practice how could two people predict so well what the other is saying quickly enough to say it almost at the same time? and... who would want to?!! Still, they're happy and, I bet, nowhere near lonely.

No need to.

Izitjoreading

2008-04-02T06:15:00.002+10:30

Over the last few weeks the books have been rolling in and my CBFA, FIRST & NonFIRST reviewing is underway. As I've dived into it at full speed I thought a dedicated book blog was in order. While I haven't had time to pretty it up, the FIRST of the month's book, Ryan Watters and the King Sword by Eric Reingold was posted yesterday, so you can read all about over there.

At this stage the plan is to post all book related issues at the yet unnamed book blog but, once again, I'm sure there will be overlaps and reminders here too. I expect that the things I read that really affect me, my walk with God and relationship with others will get a mention here as well. So watch out for the links and feel free to visit when you're looking for something to read or just feeling a bit curious.

Famous!

2008-04-01T13:03:00.002+10:30

Check out my little bro & the 'outlaw' in the Brissy Courier Mail!

There are also a few old posts on the adventures of Blackstar here and here.

True compassion enters the place of pain

2008-03-30T04:46:00.007+10:30

1 John 4:10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

"We are good at criticizing others and even better at giving advice. We assume that we know what is best for others... [but] we are not so good at compassionate participation. We often fail to draw close. We are afraid of involvement...

Yet compassion asks us precisely to take such a risk. In the words of Nouwen, 'compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into places of pain'.

Going there does not mean barging in with easy answers and quick solutions. It means learning to listen even for what, initially, cannot be expressed. It means being honest about our own needs and struggles so that we can listen more carefully. It means journeying with people in their attempts at resolution and healing. It means being there, but not controlling or crowing others. It means reaching out without taking over. It means holding without withholding, giving without looking to receive, and entering a partnership that releases others"

From Dare to Journey with Henri Nouwen by Charles Ringma

This morning is the first time I've picked up my devotional in a while. I felt that compulsion to read it. It was God's way of saying to me that I don't need to be afraid, it's possible to be sensitive to Kristy's needs without holding back.

There are so many people around her at the moment that I don't understand yet how I can 'be there for her' without crowding her out. Perhaps it's just a matter of being available, rather than shut down. Being ready for the right timing.

Loss

2008-03-25T21:43:00.009+10:30

Goodbye Steve

This is the saddest of times for my Mt Gambier family. We've lost our friend Steve; the gentle, thoughtful, honorable one among us. Even though I've only been here for a year and a half, he was one of the people that made me feel I was planted here. It is hard to believe he is gone. At our good Friday service I saw his smiling face a few seats along, then Easter Sunday, the text message saying he was missing on the river.

We know he won't be disappointed with what's ahead for him, we'll even be there with him one day, but for now his going leaves a space that feels so wrong. Steve was a quiet person who had a rock like quality and such a deep commitment to God, his family and friends that his part in our lives was so felt by us. The hole hurts.

It's this woman, and Steve's parents, that will feel his absence the most. As those who read my blog regularly would know, Steve's wife Kristy was quickly part of our home group and her new country life down here. 10 weeks of marriage and 31 years with a son do not seem nearly enough.

I haven't really experienced grief often myself but my heart literally aches for what Kristy has lost. They were the kind of couple you know God brought together, you could see it in their eyes, the integrity of their relationship and their openness to others. Now, the beautiful path Kristy thought was set before her has suddenly been covered over and there are mysteries now that only time will open up to her. I don't know if she will stay in Mt Gambier now or not and, of course, she needs to do what she thinks is right, whatever that means. But, speaking from my own perspective, I don't want to loose her too, even if it is to Adelaide or Texas. I feel connected to her, not because I knew her as Steve's wife. We share a sisterhood and for some reason God chose to place us here in this place for this time, however long or short that may be.

A few posts ago I talked about not praying lately. That doesn't mean I don't think toward God. I've been doing that a lot the last few days. I think toward him to be gentle with Kristy now, to take care of those here who have loved Steve since he was a boy... his Mum and Dad, his sisters, his mates and their parents. The guys here have a bond like I've never seen amongst any other group of men. Matt, Simun, Luke, Jason and the two Davids, amongst others, will miss him so much!

I don't know where you're at with God, but there are some people here who could really do with your strength in Him. So pray, think toward God, whatever it is that you can manage.

To read what others of us have to say go to Kristy's sister's blog and Stitching Mum's. Matt has written a memorial blog now and his best man speech says a lot about who Steve was as well.

Short Easter contributions

2008-03-23T23:27:00.006+10:30

This Easter you may like to take a look at the area where the physical events took place. Google Earth has labeled their map of Jerusalem with significant locations, even if they seem a bit dubious about it all. Technology is amazing but there's one thing that beats it hands down... the forgiveness and union offered to us in Christ even when though we haven't deserved it.

And here is the rest of it.

Legacy of war

2008-03-16T05:58:00.004+10:30

I was just cleaning out my bookmarks and came across this blog again. I think it's important to keep track of it... if you have the time to read you'll understand why. Pretty powerful stuff! A soldier blogger who was 'prepared' to have the last word. It breaks your heart to recognise that it may not have been eternally.

izitjoatwork

2008-03-15T19:23:00.005+10:30

To save the sanity of my readers, as well as my own, I thought I'd set myself up a 'professional blog'.... somewhere to explore my profession, record discoveries, pose questions and generally keep in touch with the nooks and crannies of what it is to teach. If you're particularly interested feel free to drop in now and then, but honestly, I doubt civilians would find it all that thrilling. Maybe now and then I'll cross pollinate for the sake of brevity.

The 'link'... no longer 'missing' but a handy time saving device. Particularly for the new blogger who's wondering how she ever ended up with two of the darn things! Ha!

.

Is this what the psalmist meant by 'room to maneuver?

2008-03-11T22:27:00.015+10:30

Thanks for this fine meme Helen!

I’m not a very ‘good’ Christian according to all I have ever learned. Of late I’d rather be at home relaxing than at church, even looking at the bible makes me nauseas, the fruit of the spirit is nowhere near oozing from my life, and prayer is more a snuck in word now and then so God hears me say that I know He’s there.

We've shared a new closeness the last few years that I've been really thankful for. It doesn’t feel like he’s gone anywhere, but I'm still not carrying my part of our relationship. Where has the yielding in me gone? As you can see I ask the questions but, strangely enough, I’m not that fussed about getting to the answers. Even the desire to analyse the' why’s' is running at about 3%, and that’s on an enthusiastic day.

If I even contemplate turning it on for yet another go as a ‘desperate seeker of God’, I fear immediate suffocation. For all I know right now I could be in some deep dark hole drowning in genetic propensity to stubbornness that makes me deaf, blind and dumb to God’s rebuke and direction. But I don’t feel holed in.You may be surprised that I’m not more concerned than I am, considering the state of affairs. My poor house mate is. Sometimes I think I should be. However, there's one thing that's making the difference. It's the reason why I don’t care all that much if I ‘feel’ angry, mystified or disappointed that things aren't as I thought they'd be. In the end none of it changes the facts.

God is who He is and does what He does. He loves. He forgives. He transforms. He's there and he hears. I want Him the best I can right now and I tend to believe He knows that.

I just got a picture of me stuck in the bog of unresolved baggage, with the wheels stuck deep. Years of spinning them, trying to 'work' myself out, has worn me out. Now I just wait in the open space I know in my spirit, aware of the greatness of God just outside my everyday emotional experience.

One day he'll either pull me out or He'll see to opening my ears, eyes and mind to the way out that's been there all along.

Current distractions

2008-03-07T06:06:00.017+10:30

A little cheer was required this morning....

Courtesy of Magicmirror

On a more straight faced, but no less 'disracting', note... I think I've hinted at the big planting session planned for Easter. Right now things are moving along nicely. The soil is prepared, the 'parent planting crew' booked, the plants ordered and the gardens designed.

There really are a lot of great programs on-line to get projects like this happening. While it's nowhere near top of the range compared with the 3D variety available, I found a simple Garden Planner to get me on my way. The free 2 week trial finishes today and even though I have no plans to plant another garden in the near future it's tempting to buy it. Can't see it breaking the bank at just $20... still thinking!

For now a screen capture will do. I'll have to be on my toes regarding copyright but it gives me the opportunity to give you guys an idea of what I'm heading for. (Don't even get me started on the many and varied uses of this little gem of a program. It's not all that expensive, but for the skeptical you can always have a trial or opt for the 'lite' version that's totally free).

This is the smaller front garden. The larger area won't even fit on the screen. Just so the gardeners out there can get an idea, the big white flowered bush will be a Mock Orange at this stage, the black spots - standard lilly pillys, the green blobs - conifers, and the rest 'grasses' of various varieties. It will all fall into place as time progresses.

A bit of fun, huh?... you can find the Magicmirror program here.

8JR jaunt... camp antics

2008-03-01T17:19:00.006+10:30

We had a great time on camp! While 6 of my kids were missing due to last minute colds, 2 sprained ankles etc etc... 24 of us bussed out on Tuesday morning for the four day stay at the school's beach camp site in Robe.

This was our daily playground. As much as I would like to claim it, the backside does in-fact belong to one of the year 11 peer support leaders who came along for the ride... well enough clad to add something to the pic, I thought! Despite the miserable forecasts, every day was a winner and warm enough for most of the group to spend a slab of time in the water.

For obvious reasons I can't post too many photo's of what we've been up to the last week but for a quick run down

We started out at 7 for breakfast (at least the 2 or 3 that were up did - the rest followed on behind somewhere before 8.30
By 10 we were all ready for our first trip the beach and a few relay's, boogie boarding or beach cricket.
At 2pm it was back to camp for lunch (the bland teenage variety that varied strayed very little from bread and meat of some kind)
The afternoon generally involved another outing either back to the beach for sandcastle competitions, a walk along the coast or to one of the Robe sites.
After the evening meal and some 'silent' journal writing it was 'storm the lantern' in the sand dunes. I think we played at least 4 different versions depending on who was at the helm. It was a winner though. Despite the cooler temperatures most people weren't ready to leave after the final 11.30pm game.

Highlights

Hearing the bells at night and wondering what I'd be in for when I got up - one of the girls was a sleep walker and the only way she was allowed on camp was if we promised to tie bells on her foot before bed to make sure she didn't get up to anything dangerous in the middle of the night
Spray on sunscreen fights - lets just say that there are a few kids with white spray marks on their face where Scott (my co-teacher) sprayed
Cooking pizzas for Thursday nights meal - it took at least 2 hours to prepare, cook and serve but the kids on kitchen duty were great and we shared some memorable camaraderie
'Slaps' & it's relevance to the male ego - Scott and one of the boys started playing a game where points are scored by demonstrating good reflexes in hand slapping. Depsite the fact that the assistant principal would hit the roof if she knew that kids were jumping up and down red handed, giving young men the opportunity to prove themselves amongst the pack is invaluable.... apparently.
The smile on Hayden's face when he'd piggy backed Karla and her twisted ankle home from the sand-dunes - long and interesting story which may be worth telling on another occasion.

And here is the rest of it.

I love this shot

FIRST - The Restorers Journey by Sharon Hinck

2008-03-01T16:48:00.010+10:30

It is March FIRST. From today, on the first of every month, it's book review time.

As a member of FIRST day blog alliance I will feature an author and his/her latest book, along with its FIRST chapter! Generally I will try to write a personalised review of the work featured. However, due to publisher delays this month that hasn't been possible. Watch out though, there will be one soon enough.

Please feel free to find out more about the alliance by clicking on the FIRST button above.

This months feature is:

Sharon Hinck

and her book:

The Restorer's Journey

Navpress Publishing Group (February 7, 2008)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Sharon Hinck holds a BA in education, and she earned an MA in communication from Regent University in 1986. She spent ten years as the artistic director of a Christian performing arts group, CrossCurrent. That ministry included three short-term mission trips to Hong Kong. She has been a church youth worker, a choreographer and ballet teacher, a homeschool mom, a church organist, and a bookstore clerk. One day she’ll figure out what to be when she grows up, but in the meantime, she’s pouring her imagination into writing. Her stories focus on characters who confront the challenges of a life of faith. She’s published dozens of articles in magazines and book compilations, and released her first novel, The Secret Life of Becky Miller (Bethany House), in 2006. In April 2007, she was named “Writer of the Year” at the Mount Hermon Christian Writers Conference. When she isn’t wrestling with words, Sharon enjoys speaking at conferences and retreats. She and her family make their home in Minnesota. She loves to hear from readers, so send a message through the portal into her writing attic on the “Contact Sharon” page of her website, http://www.sharonhinck.com/. She is also an avid blogger...visit Stories for the Hero in All of Us.

The first and second books in The Sword of Lyric series are The Restorer and The Restorer’s Son..

For the first chapter of The Restorer's Journey....

Chapter One - JAKE

My mom was freaking out.

She stared out the dining room window as if major-league monsters were hiding in the darkness beyond the glass. Give me a break. Our neighborhood was as boring as they came. Ridgeview Drive’s square lawns and generic houses held nothing more menacing than basketball hoops and tire swings. Still, Mom’s back was tight, and in the shadowed reflection on the pane, I could see her biting her lip. I didn’t know what to say to make her feel better.

I ducked back into the kitchen and used a wet rag to wipe off the counters. Clumps of flour turned to paste and smeared in gunky white arcs across the surface. I shook the rag over the garbage can, the mess raining down on the other debris we’d swept up. Broken jars of pasta and rice filled the bag. I stomped it down, twist-tied the bag and jogged it out to the trashcan by the garage. Usually, I hated the chore of taking out the trash. Not tonight. Maybe if I erased the signs of our intruders, Mom would relax a little.

So Cameron and Medea dropped a few things when they were looking for supplies. No biggie. Why did my folks have such a problem with those two anyway? They’d been great to me. I trudged back into the house, rubbing my forehead. Wait. That wasn’t right. A shiver snaked through my spine. Never mind. They were probably long gone by now.

“Kitchen’s done.” I carried the broom into the dining room, hoping Mom had finished in there. But she was still hugging her arms and staring out the window.

She turned and looked at the china cabinet, then squeezed her eyes shut as if they were hurting. “Why?” she whispered.

Glass shards jutted from one cabinet door, and the other hung crooked with wood splinters poking out. Broken china covered the floor. Mom and Dad had been collecting those goofy teacups ever since they got married.

I pushed the broom against the edge of the fragments, but the chinking sound made her wince, so I stopped.

Dad strode past with an empty garbage bag from the hall closet and stopped to give my mom a squeeze. He nodded toward me. “Honey, Jake’s alive. Nothing else matters. We all got back safe.” He leaned his head against hers, and I edged toward the kitchen in case they started kissing. For an old married couple, they were a little too free with their public displays of affection. No guy wants to watch his parents act mushy.

But my mom didn’t look like she was in a kissing mood. She pressed her lips together. I had a sneaking suspicion that she was more freaked out about what had happened to my hand than our house. Like when I had cancer as a kid. She’d gotten really stressed about the details of a church fundraiser and cranky about everything that went wrong—stuff that wasn’t even important. It gave her a place to be angry when she was trying to be brave about a bigger problem.

“It’s only a piece of furniture.” Dad was doing his soothing voice. When would he catch on that only made things worse?

“Only a piece of furniture we bought as a wedding gift to each other.” She swiped at some wet spots on her face. “Only twenty years’ worth of poking around garage sales and thrift stores together. Don’t tell me what it’s only! Okay?”

“Okay.” Dad backed away from her prickles.

I made another ineffectual push with the broom. My folks didn’t argue much, but when they did, it grated like a clutch struggling to find third gear. Typical over-responsible firstborn, I wanted to fix it but didn’t know how.

Mom picked up a Delft saucer, smashed beyond repair, and laid the pieces gently into the garbage bag. Dad folded his arms and leaned against the high back of one of the chairs. “I can fix the cabinet. That splintered door will need to be replaced, but the other one just needs new hinges. I can put in new glass.” His eyes always lit up when he talked about a woodworking project. The man loved his tools.

Mom smiled at him. Her tension faded, and she got all moony-eyed, so I ducked into the kitchen just as the doorbell rang. Thank heaven. “Pizza’s here!” I yelled.

Dad paid the delivery guy, and I carried the cartons into the living room. Flopping onto one end of the couch, I pried open the lid. “Hey, who ordered green peppers? Mom, you’ve gotta quit ruining good pizza with veggies.”

That made her laugh. “We’d better save a few pieces for the other kids.” She cleared the Legos off the coffee table and handed me a napkin.

I gladly surrendered the top pizza box, along with its green pepper, and dove into the pepperoni below. “Where is everyone?”

“Karen’s spending the night at Amanda’s—trying out her new driver’s license. Jon and Anne are at Grandma’s. But if they see the pizza boxes when they get home tomorrow . . . ”

I nodded. “Yep. Pure outrage. I can hear it now. ‘It’s not fair. Jake always gets to have extra fun.’” I did a pretty good impression of the rug rats. What would the kids think if they found out what else they had missed? This had been the strangest Saturday the Mitchell family had ever seen.

I popped open a can of Dr. Pepper. My third. Hey, I’d earned some extra caffeine. “So, what do we tell the kids?”

Mom smiled and looked me up and down, probably thinking I was one of the kids. When would it sink in that I was an adult now? I guzzled a third of my pop and set it down with a thump. “We could tell them there was a burglar, but then they’d want to help the police solve the case, and they’d never stop asking questions.”

“Good point.” Mom licked sauce from her finger. “Jon and Anne would break out the detective kit you gave them for Christmas.”

Dad tore a piece of crust from his slice of pepperoni. “If we finish cleaning everything, I don’t think they’ll pay much attention. The cabinet is the only obvious damage. If they ask, we’ll just say it got bumped and fell.”

Dad wanted us to lie? So not like him. Then again, when Kieran told me Dad wasn’t originally from our world, I realized there were a lot of things he’d never been honest about. Now I was part of the family secret, too.

He rested his piece of pizza on the cardboard box and looked at Mom. “Do we need to warn them?”

“Warn them?” She mumbled around a mouth full of melted cheese.

“In case Cameron and Medea come back.” His voice was calm, but I suddenly had a hard time swallowing. Something cold twisted in me when he said their names. The same cold that had numbed my bones when I’d woken up in the attic. Why? They’d taken care of me. No, they’d threatened me. Confusing images warred inside my brain.

“You think they’ll come back?” My baritone went up in pitch, and I quickly took another sip of pop.

Dad didn’t answer for a moment. “It depends on why they came. If they plan to stay in our world, we need to find them—stop them. But my guess is that Cameron wants to return to Lyric with something from our world that he can use there. That means they’ll be back to go through the portal.”

Mom sank deeper into the couch and looked out the living room windows. At the curb, our family van shimmered beneath a streetlight.

They might be out there, too. They could be watching us right this second.

“Maybe we should call the police.” Mom’s voice sounded thin. I’d suggested that earlier. After all, someone had broken in—well, broken out.

Dad snorted. “And tell them what?”

He had a point, but it’s not like there was a rulebook for dealing with visitors from other universes. Unless you attended Star Trek conventions. “So what’s your plan?” I asked.

“I’ll get extra locks tomorrow. Maybe look into an alarm system.” Dad believed every problem could be solved with his Home Depot credit card. He turned to me. “Can you remember more about your conversations with Cameron? What did he ask you about? What did he seem interested in?”

A shudder moved through me, and pain began pulsing behind my eyes.

Mom gave Dad a worried glance, then rested a hand on my arm. “It’s okay, honey. We don’t have to talk about it right now.” She smoothed my hair back from my face.

“No problem.” I brushed her hand away, sprawled back on the couch, and studied the ceiling. “It just seems like it was all a dream.”

“What’s the last thing you remember clearly?” Dad pulled his chair closer and watched me.

“Braide Wood.” I closed my eyes and smiled. “It reminded me of summer camp. And I was so tired of running and hiding in caves. I finally felt safe. Tara fussed over me, and I taught Dustin and Aubrey how to play soccer. It felt like home.”

I struggled to remember the rest. For some reason my memories were tangled up, like the time I had a major fever and took too much Nyquil. Mom and Dad waited.

“I went to see Morsal Plains with Tara. Brutal. The grain was all black and it smelled weird. Tara told me about the attack. How Hazor poisoned it on purpose and how Susan the Restorer led the army to protect Braide Wood.” I squinted my eyes open and looked sideways at my mom. They’d told me she had ridden into battle with a sword. “Unbelievable.”

Even though she was watching me with a worried pinch to her eyes, she smiled. “I know. I lived it, and it’s hard for me to believe.”

“Anyway, I hiked back to Tara’s house, and some guys came to take me to Cameron. He made a big fuss over me. Said it was his job to welcome guests to the clans. Said I’d run into bad company but he’d make it up to me. He gave me something to drink, and there was this lady. She was amazing.” No matter how fuzzy my memories were, Medea was easy to remember. The long curly hair, the sparkling eyes, the dress that clung to all the right places. My cheeks heated. “I can’t remember everything we talked about. She made me feel important, like I wasn’t just some teenage kid. It was . . . ” I sat taller and angled away from my parents, my jaw tightening. “She helped me realize that no one else had ever really understood me. I wanted to become a guardian. I had an important job to do.”

“Jake.” Dad’s voice was sharp, and I flinched. “The woman you met was a Rhusican. They poison minds. Don’t trust everything you’re feeling right now.”

A pulsing ache grabbed the base of my neck. I pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes. Mom’s hand settled on my shoulder, and I stiffened. Weird static was messing with my head.

“Jake, they used you to find the portal. She doesn’t really understand you.” Mom’s voice was quiet and sounded far away. I felt like I was falling away inside myself. She squeezed my shoulder. “Remember my favorite psalm?”

I managed a tight smile. “How could I forget? You made us learn the whole thing one summer. ‘O Lord, you have searched me and you know me…’ blah, blah, blah.”

Despite my smart aleck tone, the words took hold and some of the static in my brain quieted.

“What’s the rest?” Dad pressed me.

What was he trying to prove? That I couldn’t think straight? I could have told him that. I struggled to form the words.

“‘You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.’” Once I got started, I rattled off the verses by rote. In some strange way, the words actually stopped the sensation of falling away inside myself.

“Sounds like there’s someone who understands you a lot better than Cameron and Medea. Remember that.” Dad stood up and tousled my hair. Then he yawned. “Let’s get some sleep.”

Mom didn’t move. She was still watching me. “How’s the hand?”

I rubbed my palm. “Still fine. Weird, huh?” I held it out.

A scar, faint as a white thread, marked the skin where broken glass had cut a deep gash an hour earlier. My lungs tightened. What did it mean?

Dad shook his head. “Come on. Bedtime.”

Mom hesitated, but then stood and gave me a quick kiss on the forehead. “Good night, Jake. We’ll talk more tomorrow.”

Oh, great. She sure loved talking. I looked at Dad. His mouth twitched. “I’ll get us signed up for some practice space at the fencing club.”

Good. He hadn’t forgotten his promise. I couldn’t make sense of my trip through the portal, or the sudden-healing thing, but I knew I wanted to learn to use a sword.

My parents gathered up the pizza stuff and carried it to the kitchen, out of sight, but not out of earshot.

“If we hide the portal stones Cameron and Medea won’t be able to go back,” Dad said over the crinkling of a sheet of aluminum foil.

Someone slammed the fridge door shut hard enough to make the salad dressing bottles rattle. “We don’t want them running around our world. They don’t belong here.” Mom sounded tense.

“I know. We have to send them back. But on our terms. Without anything that would hurt the People of the Verses. And what about Jake?”

Silence crackled, and I leaned forward from my spot on the couch.

When Mom refused to answer, Dad spoke again, so quiet I almost couldn’t hear. “We need to keep the portal available in case he’s needed there. But how will we know?”

Needed there? Did he really think . . .?

I waited for them to head back to their bedroom, then slipped down the steps from the kitchen to the basement. Most of the basement was still unfinished – except for my corner bedroom and Dad’s workbench.

I hurried into my room and shut out the world behind me. Tonight everything looked different. The movie posters, the bookshelves, the soccer team trophy. Smaller, foreign, unfamiliar.

I pulled a thumbtack from my bulletin board and scratched it across my thumb. A line of blood appeared, but in a microsecond the tiny scrape healed completely. I had assumed the healing power was some heebie-jeebie thing that Medea had given me, or that had transferred over from my interactions with Kieran.

But now that my head had stopped throbbing, I could put the pieces together. Excitement stronger than caffeine zipped around my nerve endings. My folks thought this was more than a weird effect left over from my travels through the portal. They thought I might be the next Restorer.

Where am I you may ask.....

2008-02-25T20:54:00.004+10:30

FYI. I'm in Robe on camp with the year 8's for the rest of the week. Fun fun fun... 13 year old girls and their disagreements, the boys and their energy, and the lot of them bouncing around til all hours of the night!!

It's a good thing it's all balanced out with a good bit of bonding and some tough but casual camp wise male teacher influence. Apparently the trick is to put the girls in their place early on and wear everyone out with running up sand dunes during the day and 'storm the lantern' by night! Eeeek. Hope teachers are exempt! :s
No need to

Be gracious

2008-02-20T05:55:00.006+10:30

But He gives us more and more grace. That is why He says, 'God sets Himself against the proud and haughty, but gives grace to the lowly' (those humble enough to receive it).
James 4:6

"There is a price to be paid for being gracious. The person who pays is the one who does the gracious act. The recipient of grace pays nothing. Grace is free."
Minute of Grace.

This morning I’ve had need to investigate 'graciousness'....

“This word is reserved for people who recognize that they are privileged to receive what they have been given. A gracious person is wonderful just to be "around. So what is a gracious person?

• A gracious person is slow to take credit and quick to lavish praise.
• A gracious person never seeks to embarrass another. Humiliating another is not in this person’s vocabulary. (s/he doesn’t humiliate another and then try to escape responsibility by saying, "I was only joking.")
• A gracious person is always thanking others. Do you go through an entire day without thanking another?
• A gracious person doesn’t monopolize the conversation. Someone else has something to offer.
• A gracious person doesn’t try to play "one up-manship." ("That’s nothing, you should have seen what I did!")
• A gracious person pays attention to people. Sometimes people come away from such conversations saying, "He made me feel like I was the most important person at that moment."
• A gracious person desires to say what is appropriate. He doesn’t just say what is on his mind or whatever he might be thinking. (There is no redeeming value in emptying one’s mind of whatever fleeting thought has happened to land at the moment.)
• A gracious person looks out for the comfort of others. "Would you like a cup of coffee? Can I get you a newspaper while I’m out?" etc.
• A gracious person understands that s/he is not indispensable. She doesn’t require constant attention.
• A gracious person constantly points out the good that s/he sees."

This very worthy list by John Martin has been blogged and quoted many times. Along with the early quotes it prepares me to set my heart and mind straight for today.

Last year we were asked to put forward expressions of interest for a 4 day 'teaching and learning' seminar, all expenses paid. I felt sure that I'd be chosen. Afterall, I'm a new teacher, eager to learn and open to challenge. But am I really?

Yesterday the assistant principal broke the news... leadership believes that I need to concentrate on my behaviour management skills before I can apply "more advanced practice". So I wasn't one of the four chosen to go to Melbourne. Instead it's a one day of 'restorative practice' T & D day for me.

I've been wailing loudly on the inside... "But I've managed my classes beautifully this year", "It's not fair" and "so this is all I'm worth" etc etc

Facing my complete lack of graciousness in the face of disappointment is an opportunity to learn something far more fundamental than how to teach others effectively. In His perfect graciousness my heavenly Father addresses my character in the melting pot of life. Ok, separate the dross.

And my two extra's for Mr Martin's list

• A gracious person gently offers tough love, seasoned with forgiveness, even though it costs
• A gracious person accepts disappointment, hardship and discipline with God's higher purposes in mind. There is no need to defend the self - "humble yourself in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up"

Just don't let go of those helium balloons!

2008-02-14T22:47:00.009+10:30

Make me eat my first Valentine rose if I'm wrong, but I've never been that attached to the day and don't think I ever will be. It's not that I don't like romance, but it's the unmanufactured, unexpected, 'little moments' that I want to share a part in. If my future man ever reads this post.... save your money honey! :)

Apparently they won't accept flower deliveries at some of the larger Catholic high schools in Adelaide on the 24th of Feb these day. They found out how many girls were sending themselves huge arrangements - the competition was that fierce, and the stigma of being overlooked too great for some to bear flowerless.

However, I acknowledge that for some it's an important opportunity. One of my year 12 Psych students was bouncing joyfully down the stairs to my lesson today with three shimmering heart-shaped helium balloon's when she got 'lift off'! They drifted up to the next floor where some year 10 boys pulled the curling ribbon apart and burst the balloons in 5 seconds flat. Half an hour later a concerned text message was sent on behalf of the nine of us. The poor girl came in all blotchy from the tears and those eyes were filling up periodically for at least an hour more. I guess we're all different, hey!?

If there's nothing else to burn... let Him!

2008-02-12T15:33:00.000+10:30

I was listening to a CD I haven't heard before in the car yesterday. It was an O.C. soundtrack (which probably explains why I hadn't taken the time to play it earlier hehe... sorry to those who're attached to The O.C; if it's any consolation I enjoyed their play list!)

The opening line of one song really struck me.

"If there's nothing else to burn
you have to set yourself on fire"

I don't know if this is everyone's experience or if everyday things are the only way God can get through to me, but I find it amusing to see what he uses when he wants to say something. What do you think this line means? What do other bloggers think?... the person who wrote it?. I did some research and am fairly convinced that I'm nowhere near the most valid interpretation of this line. In the blog world alone it has been quoted by a firefighting gay rights activist, a comedian and computer chair philosophers. To me it was clear direction, or at least reiteration on what should perhaps have sunk in long ago.

Yesterday was the school swimming carnival. My voluntary role was to supervise the students in my house area. There were supposed to be 4 teachers on duty but for various reasons I was stuck there on my own most of the day. I was seeing red for most of the morning, then I realised that I was actually really enjoying the day. If you know how I feel about anything related to sport this is quite surprising!

And the reason?... I'd spent the day with the kids! By cheering with them, listening to their stories, sorting out disputes, chastening the over-affectionate, and chasing lobster skinned monkey's with the sunscreen tube and cheeky year 11's who thought it was funny defacing each-others torso with zinc outlines of male genitalia, I had been given the opportunity to 'bond' with them and get into the spirit of the day. It never would have happened had I been sitting comfortably in my deck chair with a colleague, nibbling the edges of the latest gossip and discussing the antics of our students from our position 'above'.

In the car on the way home I had this feeling that this is what teaching should be - what life should be, for that matter. But how do I leave my set of crutches behind, the behaviours and habits that give me a false sense of security when I'm facing something difficult? Just as I asked the question the old man's voice boomed; "If there's nothing else to burn you have to set yourself on fire"

So the gist of what God was saying to me; "You know your not getting any satisfaction out of the things you turn to outside of me, you have to choose me and be consumed by my life in you".

I felt like I was on fire yesterday. I'm sure it was because I didn't have anything else to distract me. As a result I chose to get involved and obviously that's when God things start to happen. I want to keep making that decision on every level!

We won by the way.... GO HENTY! GO! ;)

A reminder

2008-02-09T23:09:00.000+10:30

"A girl has strengths that amaze men. She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens. She holds happiness, love and opinions. She smiles when she feels like smiling and laughs when she's afraid. Her love is unconditional.

There's only one thing wrong with her, she sometimes forgets what she is worth!"

I have no idea who came up with this one. It was text messaged to me by a special friend today and I thought it worth sharing... and I considered it quite true.

Blessings!

Selectively consumed

2008-02-04T19:59:00.000+10:30

If it were only me and I were walking this road alone I could really identify with the unknown author who said... "A good teacher is like a candle - it consumes itself to light the way for others." How noble it seems, but how futile. Despite what working with teenagers seems to take, there is a light source that never runs out. His light "shines in the darkness, and the darkness has never put it out." (John 1:5)

Job said "Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him"(Job 13:15).In a more dramatic moment in my first few days back at school I was wondering if 'taking up my cross' was always going to feel like 'dying violently'. I was afraid of falling into last years routine, getting constantly snuffed out just to spark that wick for another round. I am so thankful that my Father is not in the habit of breaking bruised reeds (Matt 12:20).

This year IS different! Each group of students is a delight in its own right. It seems like I've had a chance to really teach for the first time, particularly in my middle school classes. Maybe the dark and difficult months of 2007 taught me the skills I need. Maybe I've just been blessed with good kids this round! Either way, I have no doubt that in all the seasons of my teaching career I will be kept close, understood and grown;

To light the way for others, consumed by love alone.

For more details about the school year so far.....
This is my work space as I left it tonight. I'm very proud of my filing system and feel armed and organised for the terms ahead! Don't look at my desk though... At the end of 7 lessons straight on Monday I feel justified in leaving my piles for the morning.

For those who don't know what I teach - the coloured files would give it away if you could read them;

Orange is for English... I have my year 8 home group for English, a year 11 English class and year 10 NEP English (which basically means the ones who are a little slow)

Pink is for year 12 Psychology... after a very good set of yr 12 results last year I'm very happy to say I'm keeping my favourite subject.

Teal is for year 11 Psych... which I will teach next semester

Green is all about SOSE (Studies of Society and Environment - Geography, history etc)... the year 8's again - they are such treasures!

Generation bridge builders

2008-01-31T06:02:00.000+10:30

This morning while making sure I gave a year 11 English student the right idea about the meaning of geriatric, I came across one of the most fascinating youtuber's yet. Of course, it wasn't easy to get distracted and here I am an hour later with very little work done.

Peter is an interesting person, and basically a celebrity these days. Considering he's nearly in the top 10 of most 'favourited' ever you tube personalities, there are many who may have already 'met' him before. He's intelligent, honest and a great story teller. Clearly, he has been touched by the interest shown in his life story and thoughts as you can see his growth in confidence and stature over the year.

As fascinating as the gentleman himself is the interest that has been shown in his talks about his life experiences through World War II and more. By reading people's comments there's plenty of evidence that his young fans had been missing something that they've found in Peter. In my mind something special has happened here. Peter started building a bridge and thousands and thousands met him half way.

Peter's presence in cyberspace has reminded me how much we as a society need each other.

I'll leave you to investigate the link above and watch for yourself. If you'd like it all in a nutshell here's one of the latest TV interviews

Australian's! the famous and the 'in'famous

2008-01-26T16:46:00.000+10:30

It's a special day today. I made sure I wasn't late and was on the road at 8am for the annual house church Australia Day breakfast.

My camera was safely tucked in my bag so I could get a few shots of the group together, enjoying madatory bacon and egg, and pancakes. My intention was to make you wish you were Australian by tempting you with closeups of fine morsels.

But when I arrived, no one was there!!

I considered knocking but the thought of waking the whole family just to admit that I'd stuffed up (again!) didn't really appeal. Perhaps if I'd opened the car door I might have smelt wafts of sizzling pig. Instead, I sent a text message and drove home, waiting to hear where I'd gone wrong. And waited. And waited. Until I figured I may as well get on with the day and hope Australia day wasn't on Saturday afterall! (yes, I'm that sad)

As it turns out, it was my attempts to show my brothers and sisters the respect of being on time that cost me my Australia Day breakfast!! They were all there... at 8.30!! If I'd listened to what I was saying to myself lying in bed this morning, and stayed in bed an extra half hour, I would have been chomping on bacon rind to my hearts content (and my conscience & digestrive tract's discomfort).

Hopping right along to more important Australia day things...

To those of you who aren't Aussie, and maybe for those who are too, I decided to commemorate our special day by posting an MP3 of our unofficial national anthem, 'Waltzing Matilda'. It is very capably performed by Rolf Harris, a multi-talented Australian artist and musician who may not be in the 2008 top 40, but has had plenty of worthwhile things to express about Australia for a very long time.

For a bit of a laugh....

Here's some of Rolf's art, just to top it all off. He's pretty well known for his stage painting and can do something like this in just a few minutes and while talking away every second of it.

He wasn't too popular for this one though

but really, he's pretty capable...

Random happenings

2008-01-23T07:31:00.000+10:30

It was Steve & Kristy's wedding the weekend before last. Kristy is bound to post photo's once she's settled in to her new home. All I have to say for now is... what a beautiful day and evidence of God's love for His kids!

One of the bonuses of doing wedding makeup for your friends is being able to be behind the scenes to capture moments like these!! I have no doubt it was, ok!! ;)

Today is my last day of holidays before school starts!

"And let us not get tired of doing what is right, for after awhile we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't get discouraged and give up." Galations 6:9

This one reminds me of my singleness situation (see last post). Sometimes you think you want something... when God does something completely different you can't always see how much better it is until some time passes and His blessing grows. :)

I was just in the kitchen making a banana smoothie to sip on while blogging and Esther was getting her lunch ready to take to work.

Esther: I hope this lettuce has been washed like they say it is on the packet
Me: I'm sure you won't die if it hasn't
Esther: Yea, but I might not live as long
Me: And how will you know? How much less time can you get for eating unwashed lettuce... 10 minutes!!? *grin*
Esther: Yes Jo, but think about it! All those little 10 minutes add up.

I've thought about it and there's no competition. I'd choose heaven a few years early over panicking about whether my lettuce is washed, any day! hehe

No need to read more today :)

From A to somewhere completely different altogether

2008-01-18T23:06:00.000+10:30

I'm hesitating with this post, trying to capture a broader view of what a 'life spark' is. After-all I have to maintain my blog's focus and what I have to say doesn't seem all that uplifting! I'll just start and see what happens....

I'm up late reading the blogs of complete strangers chosen at random from CWO's (Christian Women Online) blogroll. Why do the profiles of 9 women in a row start with... "I'm the wife of a [relevant description] man and the mother of [usually 3 - why is that?] children"? Do all Christian female bloggers identify themselves as 'wives' and 'mothers' first and at their core? Is this evidence that I don't belong, that I'm the odd one out, that I've missed out on the female roles that really matter in this life?

I'm having a strange mix of emotions here; frustration at the lack of similarly situated single sisters; jealousy at the sheer number of happily married and familied women out there in Christendom, and an ironic smugness that the first sentence of my profile doesn't have to be so predictable. Not a pretty collection of feelings to air in a public forum but one I could easily take to bed with me and 'fester' on sleeplessly if not for the opportunity to turn it into a spark.

Like Meg Ryan's character in 'French Kiss' (one of my favourite romantic comedies) I tend to let it all out...

I've never thought it healthy to repress, and still don't, but there's more to the story. In my everyday life when I hit a difficult moment or a hard time, when my equilibrium is challenged and I'm allowing dodgy thinking to take charge, it's easy to get lost in a sense of morose self-pity. It's taken me longer than it should to recognise the implications of being an open book in those times. James 5:16 says to "Confess your faults to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed." There is power in disclosing weakness and wrongdoing, but your motivation has to be right. As strange as it may seem the sharing of thoughts and feelings, in various settings, can sometimes be a self protective mechanism. Albeit, not a very effective one - so often it has perpetuated negativity in my life. It's all very well wanting to be real, honest and open with the world around me but there is wisdom in balance.

Knowing a change was necessary I purposefully set up my blog to practice a more prudent approach to the what, when and how of sharing. At first I found it difficult to stick to my 'life spark' focus. It felt like I was being fake and only telling half the story! Tonight it seemed right to break my own rules to air a more difficult moment. It has helped me to distinguish the difference between healthy life giving motives and those which are more self indulgent and protective.

So, the direction forward for now?.... I'm going to start practicing 'confession' posts for the purpose of healing, when needed. Like tonight. God has used what seemed a bit 'sad and sorry' to take me another step on. Who has space left to feel hard done by when you are so grateful? Now that is a life spark! Thanks for being part of it!

I ache. I bleed. But I'm happy

2008-01-14T22:08:00.000+10:30

"The fairest thing in nature, a flower, still has its roots in earth and manure." David Herbert Lawrence

Let this be a lesson to us when we think our life is (please excuse the language) s**t!

Before leaving for Brisbane 3 weeks ago 2 things happened at home;

1. I was given permission to spend $1000 on renovating the garden of the house I rent from the education department. Yipee!
2. I discovered ant infestations in my hall cupboard and walk-in robe requiring a mass exodus of all my cloth like possessions and a visit from the pest control guy in my absence.
Needless to say these events have resulted in copious amounts of work. How fortunate that my father came home to the Mount with me!! :) Millions of dead ants littered the outer edges of every room and had to be meticulously vacuumed. Cupboards needed to be refilled and sorted. By the time we got outside to start the planned gardening my calf muscles were already smarting and the splits in my heels were drying out and getting deeper.

Of course, I have lots to smile about. I will have company collecting and shoveling cow poo in the next few days (don't you just love a good Dad!). I may also end up with a pretty cool garden. It will make every aching muscle and every bleeding heel crack worthwhile.

When completely denuded and dunged I will post some before and during shots.. till then. Adios Amigos!

BlackStar meets Brisbane's Green Flea

2008-01-10T17:25:00.001+10:30

My Brisbane family have been featuring quite a bit the last few posts due to the fact that I spent a solid 2 weeks with them over these summer holidays. This is the last installment... how could I miss blogging market day with BlackStar Coffee!!

I love markets in general but this one is unique

My impressions...

The Market's in West End

Atmosphere bulging
The green leaves reflecting
Unity and difference
With sunlight between

Bum-bagged store holders
Before dawn reserving places
Some waiting, working, straight faced
others busy, with smiles and waves

Relaxed Saturday morning faces
Weaving in and out among the gathering
Lines of people waiting
For favourite juices, coffee’s, crepes

Earth conscious West Enders
Bags full, organic fruit laden
Market delights for now and later
Treasures found and bargains forged

Colours in bright fabrics
Shimmering lines of handmade jewelry
Warmth of wood and gourmet makings
Coating winding paths beneath the trees

Brisbane’s Green Flea Market
Community as it happens
People as they are and buzzing
til stalls are dismantled for the week

I am as far from 'alternative' as you can get and dislike the taste of coffee intensely, but as roastery owners/operators, and true West Enders, Marty and Von are at the other extreme in these areas. Ya know, for all our differences there is still plenty of shared ground too. It was great just hanging out in the rich market environment selling beans and iced coffee, reveling in our love of quality food/beverage, the connoisseur mentality and fine spruking finesse.

Blackstar Coffee produce made with love....

Watch this space... video to come... eventually, when I get Dad to send me his copy of what was on my camera. I deleted everything before putting them on my computer so I could fit wedding photo's on the card.

I want to love

2008-01-08T21:47:00.000+10:30

There are children raised in sorrow
On a scorched and barren plain
There are children raised beneath a golden sun
There are children of the water
Children of the sand
And they cry out through the universe
Their voices raised as one

I want to live I want to grow
I want to see I want to know
I want to share what I can give
I want to be I want to live

Have you gazed out on the ocean
Seen the breaching of a whale?
Have you watched the dolphins frolic in the foam?
Have you heard the song the humpback hears five hundred miles away
Telling tales of ancient history of passages and home?

I want to live I want to grow
I want to see I want to know
I want to share what I can give
I want to be I want to live

For the worker and the warrior the lover and the liar
For the native and the wanderer in kind
For the maker and the user and the mother and her son
I am looking for my family and all of you are mine

We are standing all together
Face to face and arm in arm
We are standing on the threshold of a dream
No more hunger no more killing
No more wasting life away
It is simply an idea
And I know its time has come

I want to live I want to grow
I want to see I want to know
I want to share what I can give
I want to be I want to live

Words and music by John Denver

For my thoughts...

When my 2008 year 8 class came for orientation in December I asked my class to write me a letter over the holidays including anything they wanted me to know. Now that I'm at Mum and Dad's I've had an opportunity to open some of these. One of the identified 'at risk' students wrote about her difficult time at school so far, the advantages and disadvantages of her mental illness, the day men came to take her from home and the 6 years she spent in foster care. No one ever said that when I became a teacher I had to give up caring for kids. It's just in a different way now.

The CD I bought this afternoon, a 'best of John Denver', has this song I've never heard before; "I want to love", also known as "I want to live" on some of his albums. Either title is fine by me... I identify with both. I want to love and I want to live. That's what I want for my students, all young people, all people. This is what we're made for. John Denver knows it even if the details aren't clear to him. His dream is reality in Christ, available to all.

No need to fear

2008-01-07T17:55:00.001+10:30

I flew home at 8.30am yesterday on 1 hour of sleep. Close to 2 I'd woken to my brother screaming in pain and terror. I'd never heard anything like it and as I desperately tried to find something to open his handleless bedroom door I was wondering what could possibly have happened.

It turned out that he had stood on his bed in his sleep and walked of it, falling to the floor. I think the shock of waking up in that kind of situation was a greater part of his reaction. We spent the next 3 hours in emergency. Thankfully, he only has a bad sprain.

Later, on the plane, I heard the news that one of our well known sports reporters had died of head injuries believed to be a result of sleepwalking. I'm not an overly fearful person, generally, but I'd had a nagging sense of forboding left over from the sound of Marty's screaming and the fact that the first reported incident of a death in similar circumstances, on the same day, seemed to fuel it.

My brother knows what he's about though, and God very quickly dealt with an issue that could have easily got hold of me...

When I rang Marts today to see how he was I told him about the reporter and suggested he sees a doctor about medication. He reminded me that something can happen at any time and that loosing your life while sleepwalking is no more likely than a car accident. He's not worried at all.

For some reason it just took the fear I had for my brother's safety away. God knows the time and circumstances of our end and we can only leave the lives of our loved ones in His hands as we do our own.

For a more humourous sleepwalking tale and my curious thoughts...

When we were young Marty used to do plenty of unusal things in his sleep. One morning I woke up very cold. My doona had gone and was nowhere to be seen. When Mum woke up we started the hunt, finding Marty asleep with no cover himself. Finally, Mum pulled out 2 doonas from my cupboard. It seems 10 year old Marty had collected them in the night and stuffed them in there without me even knowing.

Sleepwalking is a strange sleeping disorder that I'm becoming very curious about. According to Wikipedia, it has nothing to do with people acting out their dreams and occurs at a different time in the sleep cycle. I'm going to do a little more investigation for more understanding. It seems that sleepwalking isn't purposeless but follows a storyline similar to a dream of the REM stage. Nothing like real life experience and the resulting interest to make me a better psychology teacher!

Not quite what I expected

2008-01-04T11:18:00.000+10:30

Byron Bay's not far from Queensland's Gold Coast. The sun is always shining and beach culture rules supreme. People wander, thong clad and scantily dressed, among trendy cafes and alternative clothing boutiques. It's the busiest, most laid back coastal town in Australia, where the rich set up their getaway properties and young tanned backpackers stop for the tourist season to earn a bit of extra cash while enjoying the Byron atmosphere.

And so this was the long awaited holiday destination. The house sitting job offered was ideal and backed onto a secluded beach a little out of town. All I've been thinking about for months has been reading a good book on the beach, with a little break now and then to build sandcastles with the kids or whip up something yummy to eat. Marty was looking forward to getting his board out and catching a few waves.

Alas, things didn't turn out as we'd planned! Marty didn't have to take his board as far as he expected for one thing...

the water came to us.

Who would have thought our visit would coincide with the wettest weather in several years?!! The best opportunity we had to get wet was when we poked our noses out of the house to check the water level or dash out from under shopping blocks to cross a road on one of our visits to town.

Still, we weren't completely disappointed. After a bit of a backyard paddle there was at least one happy camper!

To see more holiday shots...

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The Big day and all that follows

2007-12-27T07:04:00.000+10:30

Well Christmas has come and gone. For someone who isn't supposed to be into it I sure had a good time. I think I'm coming to some sort of resolution but I'll save that for later.

I arrived in Brisbane on the 20th just in time to help Marty and Von with selling freshly roasted Blackstar coffee beans and cold pressed iced coffee at the market. It was a great time and I'm busting to get there on the next few Saturdays to soak in the atmosphere again. An entry is bound to come at a later date but for now it's all about kids and Christmas!!

This is little Kaedin in front of the kiddly-wink decorated tree at home with just half of the massive amount of gifts received on the day. Can't say I'm really into his new pj's but Von tells me that the skull and cross-bone is trendy at the moment :s

We had breakfast at Vonnie's freshly married sisters house... Lila is here helping Navi open one of her gifts.

Marty's parents in law gave both their son's-in-law a digeridoo (Aboriginal Australian instrument). It turns out my bro is pretty talented and just has to pick up the skill of circular breathing to really pull it off.

There's nothing like the playing that goes on after time around the Christmas tree. It was all smiles at the time this photo was taken but as I type Kaedy is having hysterics cause he wants Lila's scooter rather than his own. Child's logic!Their scooters are exactly the same!

And just to unashamedly confirm how completely incongruent I can be, displayed below are all the purchases I made at the boxing day today. I literally shopped till I dropped. While my credit card will suffer I sure got some good bargains. Some of the jewelery was only $4 or $5 dollars a piece!! I'm conceding on the copper colored shoes and Indian wrap though and returning them today. Got to be a bit realistic! The luxury items need to be the first to go.

This "read more" thing is cool if you know how to use it. One day I'll have to sit down with the html and get the gist. Sometimes it just isn't necessary... like now! ;)

My Christmas dilemma

2007-12-19T07:05:00.001+10:30

Questions about Christmas have been in the back of my mind for the last 10 years but it's difficult to challenge the 'Christmas' I learnt to love as a child. After quite a bit of research it seems pretty clear to me that I'm going to have to make up my mind one way or another eventually. Every year Christmas becomes quietly more disturbing for me in some way as another of the traditions I love is brought into question. So, if you don't want to read on, I understand.

The birth of Jesus was never commemorated by the early church and isn't mentioned in the bible as a day of feasting, in December or any other month. For many hundreds of years before Christ people celebrated the winter solstice, the coming of spring and the gods they associated with the sun. The 25th of December marked the birthday of two of these gods. It was a time when everyone would have a holiday, give gifts and drink a lot of alcohol. Seems very familiar, doesn't it?.

The date only became relevant to Christians around 300AD. New converts were having so much trouble giving up their pagan festival that it seems that the pope of the day decided, "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em". From my reading almost all the Christmas traditions, symbols and customs, apart from the nativity etc, have a very long pagan history.

What will all this mean for me!? Every year I longingly look at the trees in the post-Christmas sales, but can't bring myself to buy one. I can decorate my Mum's house and buy decorations for family members but I can't buy for myself. This year I thought a nativity would surely be 'alright' - my first ever Christmas decoration in 37 years.

It is beautiful and reminds me that Jesus came, which of course is very important for me, but in the last few days even this purchase has been challenged. Will it be resolved by leaving the nativity up all year round?

Why have we had to conform, and eek Christian significance from a conglomeration of pagan festivals? Is this what God wants? Can we make that which is unholy clean by relabeling and repackaging? How does He see it all?

For now the thought of giving up Christmas is too difficult. Surely the good will Christmas brings and the reminder that Jesus came to this earth for us has significance of its own, even without the command to commemorate and celebrate! How it should all fit together though, I don't know. It's a good thing His gracious love is far deeper than any confusion I may have over a human tradition. In the end I know that walking in that love is really most important.

Canberra highlights

2007-12-02T16:21:00.000+10:30

It's been a long time coming but the school year is done, reports out and Christmas shows mostly over. This draft begun on the 2nd is being posted on the 18th... my brain finally has space again for more relaxing pursuits. Thanks to those like Helen and Jourt who've set me back on track, blogging is one of them. It's 6 weeks of celebration, family, sun, catching up and low-key contemplation for me... there are benefits in teaching for sure! :)

Today I'll go back a few steps to report on the very successful year 9 Canberra camp. We met bright and early at school for the 14 hour bus trip (yes, you read right). The kids were great the whole week, even restrained in their seats for such long periods! It was fun getting to know them. We had so few hassles (besides keeping a lesbian couple from sneaking into each others dorms and two suspected broken bones acquired on the ice skating rink, with a subsequent bus trip to the hospital with all in tow) that it felt like a holiday rather than work.

Most days there were two sites to see, both morning and afternoon, with skating, water slides and movies in the evenings to make sure the kids really slept well. I was actually surprised by the Australian 'heritage' I saw in Canberra. I've always complained that we don't have enough history in this country. It has seemed to me that being on the earth a long time is what makes a society proud, but I've readjusted my view a little now. Sure, Canberra's all a bit staged and sterile, being so new and meticulously planned, but at least there's a sense of value placed on what it means to be an independent nation.

The war memorial was a powerful reminder of just how many lives are taken in war. It was spectacular, particularly the mosaic memorial to the unknown soldier with it's four giant mosaic's representing members of each of the forces and beautiful ceiling. I don't need to be jealous of countries with 'history' any more. The memorial may only be 67 years old but at least it shows that people cared enough to create something so stunning.

Our new parliament house is something to be proud of too. Part of me wonders at the amount of money spent when there are so many needs in the world, but I guess if there's anywhere a country can spend selfishly, it's got to be in the capital.

Below is one of my favourite photo's taken from a balcony in new parliament house overlooking the old parliament house building. The common lone pigeon taking in such a prestigious view, surrounded by the excrement of its brothers and sisters adds that little bit of irony that tickles my fancy. Not that I think our government is a complete 'waste' of time, but I guess I've never completely trusted the humanity of politics.

Canberra was very quiet when we were there as it was the week before our recent elections. Who knows what our new government has in store for us. Part of me is inspired that maybe my confidence will be restored, as much as it can be in a fallen world, and we will begin to see some worthwhile new directions with fresh leadership at the helm.

There was also a valuable personal lesson learned on camp that has, to this point, had quite an impact on me.

Andrea and I shared a cabin for the week, and some great conversation. She was interested in hearing what had made my first year of teaching teenagers so difficult. Just through talking it over I realised that my oversights and weaknesses as a teacher don't need to render me incapable all together. Forgetfulness is part of my personality and in one respect that won't really ever completely change, but half of my 'problem' I CAN do something about!!

1/4 of it is laziness... I can keep working on that by learning to "deny the lesser to gain the greater". The other quarter is lack of organisation. If I form better habits, like keep my diary open all the time, and set alarms, I'm bound to improve the situation. All is not lost. I do have control. God doesn't make mistakes. He's made me who I am and I have a responsibility to make the most of me! It sure put a different spin on the rest of the year and, I'm hoping, the rest of my career.

So, all in all it was a very eventful camp and a time I'm very grateful for in many ways. It's quite likely that I've not been blogging for the simple reason that I needed processing time. Who would have thought?!! :)

... and we're off

2007-11-19T05:15:00.000+10:30

... 12 hours on the bus to the Australian Capital Territory with 30 year 9 kids!! Arghhh! Not having seen Canberra since I was a kid I'm sure it'll be worth every Jaffa down the isle, every yell in the ear and the sore but I'll be sporting from sitting in that tin can for forever!!

No doubt there will be plenty of photo's and a few stories to tell but I'll try to pick out the highlights. Till then keep well and smiling. I'm going to be giving it my best shot!! :)

Emotion

2007-11-16T23:23:00.001+10:30

Been a long time between blogs but I'm finally in the mood. It must be the tears I cried over Bridge to Terabithia. (WARNING: SPOILER AHEAD!) She dies you know. Sad story, but cute too. Not as mythical as you'd think though. If I'm ever given year 8 English I'll probably be teaching the book. It's a pity I don't like books as much as I do movies.

And the mood has passed. Fickle, fickle moods! :) It's a good thing I'm master of my emotions. My year 11 Psych class and I have been looking into these things lately. This week we talked about managing feelings effectively rather than suppressing, distracting or blowing-up . It was an inspiring lesson really cause I kind of ran it off the top of my head and went with the flow.
These are the steps...

Locate and Identify your feelings - Begin by recognising the area of your life where you may be experiencing some difficulty . . . relationships, work, health fears etc

Feel the emotion - Recognise the physical sensation of that emotion and express it appropriately while keeping safe

Distinguish your ‘self’ from the emotion - Keep purposefully allowing yourself to feel the emotion until it no longer feels like it needs to belong to you. You will feel like it’s possible to let the feeling go.

Learn the lesson - Identify the underlying thought or assumption that is driving the emotion. Ask yourself some questions

Let go of the emotion - Sometimes it helps to create a visual picture in your head.

Check - Do you have any of the emotion left? Sometimes you will need to go through this procedure again.

I didn't suggest they work through anything in particular but I had those kids on the floor imagining what it was like to physically feel peaceful, then the nervousness of an impending exam, followed by the motivation before a big game of hockey (there are a few star players amongst them). It worked and they were surprised... so was I - but it was a nice surprise.

We talked about what's safe and what isn't when we're dealing with our own emotion, that we can grieve even when things change and not just when we loose someone, how others can effect the way we feel if we let them and how we influence those around us too - for good and not so good at times. When we discussed letting our emotions out we talked about how healthy crying can be and how it's worth crying till we can laugh at ourselves just to get a sense of how separate we actually are from what we feel. When we got to the part about letting our emotions go they thought of writing it all down and burning, or throwing out, the paper. It just felt right to tell them about the picture of the cross I have in my head sometimes when I leave things there or those times when it seems best just to unload a 'literal' bundle of emotion right at Jesus feet.

It all just reminded me that I know how to do this stuff, I've just gotta do it more often. Leading by example has got to be the best way to teach, even if the 'lesson's are hidden ones. May God continue to inspire me to keep learning and to teach like one who follows well.

Muppet Mania

2007-11-05T07:57:00.000+10:30

If you're too young to remember the original Muppets check this out... if you're not, hope you enjoy as much as I did!!

and on a more reflective note I defer to Robyn, Kermit the frog's young nephew...

Aww! Such profundity from one so small and green!

The best choc chip cookies ever

2007-11-04T15:29:00.000+10:30

Err... not doing so well with the blogging right now! The little creativity I can muster is being spent on a big integrated unit I'm doing with my year 9's for English and SOSE called "The Great Balloon Race". My brain just wants to veg out infront of the TV when I get home these days.

However, I do feel inspired today to post the most successful biscuit recipe I've ever baked. Before my year 11 Psychology girls started begging me for 'stories' on the long last double Thursday afternoon, it was my choc chip cookies they wanted. No more feeding students yummies next year though. The education department is bringing in all the healthy eating changes and we won't be allowed to bribe our kids with food anymore... Sheesh!!

Anyway. Here it is. Mostly for me so I always have it on hand... but maybe for you too if you ever feel the urge to bake

INGREDIENTS

2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup butter, melted
1 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 egg
1 egg yolk
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips

DIRECTIONS

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Grease cookie sheets or line with parchment paper.
Sift together the flour, baking soda and salt; set aside.
In a medium bowl, cream together the melted butter, brown sugar and white sugar until well blended. Beat in the vanilla, egg, and egg yolk until light and creamy. Mix in the sifted ingredients until just blended. Stir in the chocolate chips by hand using a wooden spoon. Drop cookie dough 1/4 cup at a time onto the prepared cookie sheets. Cookies should be about 3 inches apart.
Bake for 15 to 17 minutes in the preheated oven, or until the edges are lightly toasted. Cool on baking sheets for a few minutes before transferring to wire racks to cool completely.

Good news all round

2007-10-26T08:19:00.000+09:30

All computer issues have been successfully resolved. It’s a very satisfying feeling knowing that you can nut out technical difficulties sufficiently enough to get the job done… even if it takes more hours than it should.

Possibly even more fulfilling is seeing my class of year 12 Psych students finish up their school lives in preparation for their final exams, and more importantly, the rest of their lives. After months of teaching, discussing, overcoming drama’s together and drafting work copiously you feel like you get to know these kids pretty well. I’ve been tearing my hair out with despair over the year 9 class I have for both English and Society & Environment, but I need to remember that in a few years time many of them will be as mature and composed as this special little group of school leavers. After all those times I’ve lost drafts and forgotten to mark work these guys have looked at the positives and worked with me rather than against me. It’s amazing what a few years can do!

It’s times like these that I’m pleased as punch to be teacher.

Show Day in Mt Gambier

2007-10-22T19:57:00.000+09:30

... a pretty big deal here as far as community events go. According to the 'South East' news it was the largest turn out in recorded history, even without the horse events. For those outside Australia, there's been an equine virus outbreak in Australia the last few months so things have not been business as usual in the horsey world.

Our little household (+1 housemate sister) spent the day out together enjoying the sun, vomitous show rides, junky food, feral stalls and a whole heap of very interesting local exhibitions and competitions... along with hundreds of other thrill seekers. Despite the fact that my camera can't take a good shot to save itself and I always end up getting a turkey neck when I take group shots, I thought it'd be fun to post us doing our thing. Of course, I didn't think to take shots of the show itself till I was walking home. But I guess a show is a show where ever you're from!

At the hat stand

Esther, No.1 housemate, culinary queen and live in dietitian, sporting the hat she ended up with. I think it looks pretty cool!

Christine, lover of small furry things, budding nurse, latest addition and the 'baby' of our house - boy would I get a cool blank stare if she were to read this! ;)

Just a quick update on my 'puter drama's. I lugged the box to school today. According to our technical expert, it appears that Windows is infested with spyware. There's nothing for it but to format the hard drive and start again. Looking at the bright side, they say there'll be a notable incease in speed!

C'est La Vie

2007-10-20T10:20:00.000+09:30

My computer has a virus... I got it from opening a link someone posted here on my Cbox. After being so careful for so many years it just took an absent minded moment...

It reminds me of those times I've been flashed by a speed camera. You get that sinking feeling in the pit of your gut and the sting of looming consequence that leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Still, you just know you did it to yourself and there's no going back. You can sit and sulk or pay up and move on. Lets just hope that paying up doesn't include recreating the years handouts for school. I haven't saved all of them onto my USB and I don't think I've backed up my hard drive in at least 18 months either!

It's another beautiful day out there and I have the sights and sounds of my first Mount Gambier show to look forward to. So I'm movin' on regardless! The computer will be looked at on Monday and in the meantime both housemates are more than happy to let me tap away on their laptops.

Jeff, whoever you are, it says in the bible to pray for your enemies. Right now, virus dude, you're as close as it gets. So I pray that the God of heaven and earth will reveal his great love to you and be with you where ever you go!!

Food Meme

2007-10-18T21:15:00.000+09:30

The challenge has been set... a food meme required. The letters of my blog name, now food facts inspire. I very much doubt I can continue this rhyme so will wax lyric, in prose, of morsels sublime! ;)

In other words Aussie tigger has 'tagged' me to make a list of food facts based on 'Izitjo'!

I - International dishes taught to me by friends from other, 'more exotic', places have always been my favourites to cook and formed the beginnings of some special memories. Lilamani, a older Shrilankan friend, taught me to cook her curry using a gas burner in her back porch kitchen. We'd pluck the curry leaves, lemons, lemongrass and chili right from the garden.

Z - My Iranian friends Faribah and Minoo introduced me to one of the ultimate culinary experiences... Zereschk Polow. Saffron drizzled over tender baked chicken pieces, with crispy rice (polow), contrasted perfectly with the sour taste of dried barberries (zereschk). Mmmm!!

I - I bought a Woman's Day cookbook called "Old-fashioned favourites" and came accross Impossible Pie. The intoduction says... "you'll discover when you make this pie how it got its name: when cooked, the pie magically separates into three perfect layers. Impossible!" I think I'd better give it a go and find out for myself!

T - Hot toast, made with fresh bread, and layered with the 'real deal' butter and a smattering of vegemite would have to be about the best snack out. Despite what people say it's worth a go - you just have to know the trick! The barest scrape is all you need or you'll never trust me with your taste buds again.

J - I've been getting into making fresh orange juice lately. Whenever I come across a bag of oranges on sale I store them away for those times when I feel like something cold, fresh and pulpy. 5 minutes juicing, a half hour in the freezer and a few ice cubes to give it that extra kick is all it takes.

O - I guess it's almost sacrilage but okra make the most deliciously fried vegetable I've ever tasted. A little side alley Tibetan restaurant near where I worked in Perth cooked them to perfection. Maybe I should be thankful I don't have regular access to a supply of okra.

I pass on the challenge to all who come across this post. Make sure you come back and tell me if you've done a food meme of your own, I'd like to come check it out! Matt, this includes you - we're sure to get a laugh and some inspiration from yours! :)

Bright & sunshiney

2007-10-17T15:43:00.000+09:30

Do you get that light feeling of summer on the first warm day of Spring? It's usually cool here in Mt Gambier. Rain has been threatening on a regular basis and the air still has that cold bite to it. Not today!! It's beautiful out there. Seeing as I finish early on Wednesday afternoons at the moment, I had the time to get outside and enjoy!

School's back

2007-10-15T07:13:00.001+09:30

It's the first day back at school today - only 9 more weeks till summer holidays!! If all goes to plan I won't be counting down the weeks quite as eagerly by the end of the year though ;)

Now that it's time to get back into routine, and more health habits at that, I guess I'll be posting less often. After hitting a low point over the holidays, spending a large sum of money on books & devotionals at Koorong (the biggest Christian bookshop... the commercialised kind I generally try to avoid, but sometimes can't), I've made some interesting progress toward my intended spring clean . It came as late as early yesterday morning but was more than welcome none-the-less.

I might post a blog on lessons learnt at some point when it's not so raw and untrod, but in the meantime let me recommend a book to those who think it might be relevant. Beth Moore, a former pit dweller herself, talks pretty straight about how to 'Get out of that pit'. It's not your run of the mill comfortable christianesse, 'feel good' kinda book. It's practical and hits the nail on the head for me really.

For the sake of accountability let me share my priority list;

1. Time with God
2. Exercise and eat healthy food
3. Attention to necessary school work
4. Consideration of house mates needs & household responsibilities
5. Quality time with friends & attention to important events
6. Hobbies and interests

Respect Corner # 1: My brother & the woman who walks with him

2007-10-13T10:22:00.000+09:30

A few months ago my brother, Marty, and his wife, Evonne, launched Blackstar Coffee, a fair trade venture formulated, not only to make an honest family living, but to give the coffee growers and some of Bisbane's refugees a fair go. As a social enterprise they are supported by Social Ventures Australia, proactive in nurturing community change.

Being a few thousand km's away I don't get to see the day to day events, the successes, the stresses, and the general mass of people and activity so familiar to my Brissy family. But I do know it's a difficult road starting a new business no matter what your motivation. While there are already great reviews, radio interviews and a growing number of places to buy brewed Blackstar blends in Brisbane, it's still early days with lots of corners to turn.

I'm proud of these two. Their heart for people, their integrity, energy and commitment are an inspiration. They don't separate what they believe from what they do. It's who they are. This means that their action comes at a cost, in more ways than one. I will continue to pray for hurdles overcome and abundant fruitfulness for the benefit of many.

Keep up the good work Marts and Von! Love you.

Home again! We won't call it a poem but a summary.

2007-10-13T09:50:00.000+09:30

Goodbye's
car piled high
5 hours of chatter as the miles fly by
welcomes home
familiar faces
warm spaces
stories told
unpacking
sorting
uploading and reposting
holidays are over
term 4's almost here

Yesterday's galavanting

2007-10-11T09:36:00.000+09:30

Spent the afternoon with an ex-student who's more a friend now than anything. She, who shall remain nameless, was having a hard time when I was her Psych teacher last year so it's great to see her happier and in a healthier place. Just hanging around, driving through town doing nothing inparticular was pretty relaxing.

I popped into one of the better photography shops while in the city and got a package quote for the DSLR I've had my eye on for the last year or so. A Nikon D80 with 18-200mm VR lens. Sigh!

Not the cheapest choice but I guess it'll be worth waiting for!!

Spent time with my cousin and a few friends from Adelaide in the evening. Feeling all filled in on the latest goss... it seems at least one of us long-time singles are close to unavailability. Go girl!! ;)

From "Splashes in of Joy in the Cesspools of Life"

2007-10-09T08:21:00.001+09:30

choose
Originally uploaded by mo ba ca na

by Barbara Johnson

We choose how we will live;
courageously or in cowardice,
honorably or dishonorably,
withpurpose or in drift.
We decide what is important
and what is trival in life.
We decide that what makes us significant
is either what we do or refuse to do....
WE DECIDE
WE CHOOSE
And as we decide and as we choose,
so our lives are formed...

Author unknown

The last 24 hours

2007-10-08T17:20:00.000+09:30

I started out yesterday to celebrate an 11 year old's birthday with my surrogate family...

Who are these people? I think I might tell the background stories gradually, then forever after create copious links for the super ardent. hehe :p

When I was a youngin', fresh out of home and starting out on the journey of life, I lived with Aunty Kate and Uncle Jim in the beautiful Adelaide hills (we aren 't really related, but they will always be Aunty Kate and Uncle Jim to me - you know how it is with family friends). They had two kids, Ally, who was then 14, and Daniel, 17. It was a bond forming year for us all. I listened to inventive Uncle Jim's detailed explanations of things way to mechanically complex for my brain and revelled in many hours of deep and meaningful conversation with Aunty Kate. Ally hated me for it for the first 6 months, then decided that if she couldn't beat 'em, then she'd have to join 'em. So by the end of the year I'd been adopted as a 'sister' and have remained something of the sort every since.

Since those early years Ally's been married and had three kids, the oldest being Nathaniel, who's birthday we gathered for yesterday. This is the lad himself on his new bike saved for himself...

I was blessed to see Hannah come on the scene and the youngest, Amy, pop out! Literally, I mean, as I was there and saw it with my own eyes!! She was not to be outdone by her brother as it was one of her first days without her training wheels... I think you get a glance of just about everyone in this little movie clip!

With all my moving these guys have been lovely constants. The ones who know me best, but still love me anyway! Seeing them all yesterday was just like coming home. Dan and his family were there too, growing just as quick!

From my 'sister's' it was a 10 minute drive to my best friend Noleen's. After some quality catch up time and a sleep on her lounge last night I journeyed deeper into the hills to spend the morning with our YWAM friend. I'll save stories of these two special women and their families for another time. Suffice to say I feel blessed!! God has given me such precious friends.

Regardless of the season

2007-10-07T08:19:00.001+09:30

I've been blessed by a number of blogs I've come accross this morning, thanks to Daphney. I haven't even conversed with her yet, but she seems to have the most passionate & interesting group of blog friends I've seen in my two weeks here!

A post on Small things has reiterated to me the importance of keeping the burden God has placed on my heart at the forefront of my mind and prayers. Eventhough it is not my season to be fostering kids as I have in the past, it's probably even more important to be keeping an outward focus, amidst the current struggle with doubt and disapponitment.

I thought I'd transfer a blog first posted on my MySpace account in August....

"I just saw the movie Amazing Grace at the cinema tonight. I'm sure they've used a bit of poetic license but there's no doubt William Wilberforce was an amazing man. He was compassionate, passionate and persistent. There weren't many who had an opinion against slavery in the late 1800's and even fewer who were prepared to go against public opinion and be active in their desire to see the end of slavery.

Where is our passion today? I live in comfortable middle class Australia and I know my conscience is dulled, lulled by the security of my environment. Wilberforce was from an upper-class family with a whole lot going for him, but he didn't let that stop him from being pushed beyond his comfort zone. There are things I want to see end that may not be as obvious as cargo ships of African slaves, but are just as cruel and soul destroying.

Children and teenagers in our country are in families where they are beaten and abused because there is nowhere else for them to go. When the state is pressed to remove a young person and there are no emergency foster placement they are being assigned to hotel rooms, sometimes for months at a time, with carers who take shifts day and night. Even when foster placements are found children are moved all the time because there's not enough support for the families who take them in. The burden of caring for a damaged child is a heavy one to carry without help, but that help has a dollar value too high for us as a society to carry.

Human beings who aren't even old enough to know how to handle these situations shouldn't have to live like this!

What can I do? Wilberforce had a position in parliament, he was gifted and energetic. But he was using what he had by means of faith. I can do that too... "

Dining on beauty

2007-10-06T20:04:00.001+09:30

I love photography! You can make something beautiful out of just about anything. Remind you of anyone?

Dad bought a SLR camera a few months ago so I've been playing around with it the last few days. My new dinner set has come in handy. It was a bargain found on thursday's shopping spree - real fine bone china, 60% off!!

Is not enough ever too much?

2007-10-05T06:26:00.000+09:30

Coming home to Mum and Dad's is great but it usually means I have to decide if I'm going to be a hermit crab or a butterfly... a deed counter or a gracious girl. Whoever has moved away for any length of time may have noticed a strange phenomenon. The road to a friends is not the same distance in both directions.

Adelaide has a population of just over a million so it's not that huge, but my parents chose to live in one of the areas further South and as a result it's a journey of 40 minutes or more to the city, or just about anywhere. After a whole day full of texts and phone calls organising my Adelaide itinerary for the next 6 days I thought I needed a break from plans that invovled me dashing around the city. This is the result....

Friend of 6 years: Seems a shame not to catch up while you're here Jo
Me: Well, it looks like neither of us have any night free together for the whole time I'm here... Unless you're not doing much tonight?
Friend of 6 years: Sure! Tonight would be fine.
Me: Mum and Dad are out shopping or something, so you can come down here if you like and we can watch a movie or just chat.
Friend of 6 years: oh (split second silence). Actually, I can't tonight. I forgot about the tax I have to finish...

Hmmm. I guess I will battle on finding for many visits trying to find the elusive balance, and giving my conscience a workout in the process. Any suggestions, anecdotes or words of wisdom will be greatfully received! :)

The Case for a Creator

2007-10-03T07:25:00.000+09:30

A few weeks ago our advanced year 9 science class listened to a creationist raise some alternatives to evolution. Their science teacher wanted them to be learn how important it is not to accept what they are taught blindly, but to question and refine their understanding in the process. He himself attends a traditional church but as a "scientist first" sees no other explanation for our existance beside evolution.

After the first few days of holiday movie watching, I picked up a book from my housemates shelf called "The Case for a Creator" by Lee Strobel. There's a student edition too which I think is GREAT! It's been a good read and I can only pray some of the excellent points the author makes will come back to me if/when they are needed.

I find the 'evidence' for creation is often no more conclusive than that which supporters of evolution use to push their point of view. It can be helpful, though, for putting science in perspective. In the past I've also found it useful when talking to people who can't relate yet to how significant the role of faith is in life.

For some, 'how' is a bridge to the more important 'why'. God's universe may not be rocked by how humanity tries to find its answers apart from him, but He is gracious enough to seek out His lost sheep. Sometimes He even wants a few from the fold on board while he creatively calls them back.

Blog title change

2007-10-01T08:36:00.000+09:30

Life Sparks!
Just a readjustment but it more accurately encapsulates my focus. I've been reading a few people's blogs lately and I'm beginning to see how diverse our understanding of, and purpose for, blogging can be.

It got me thinking about my own approach. As a new blogger it's probably a good idea to have a bit of direction - so this is it.

What is life? I am really living when I'm engaged in the things that Jesus is in to, stuff that's covered with the fingerprints of His love. Paul said "for me to live is Christ" (Phil 1:21). This is the truth I hold to.

For an indepth exploration have a look at "He and He alone" by Martyn Loyd-Jones. He has a whole lot of precious things to say on what life is really all about.

What is a spark? A dictionary definition was enough here. If you have time follow the link and take a look at what a spark can do! My favourite.... "spark of revoution"!!! ;)

What sparks life for me?
The creator, His word & creation, the journey, life lessons, people I love, those I meet, human expression (theory, books, movies, poems, art, etc) & the memories made on the narrow road.

So my blog is a record of my life sparks!

Movies about real people!

2007-09-30T17:46:00.000+09:30

Mum's here for a visit, now that the term holidays have begun. Thankfully, she doesn't mind a few days of doing basically nothing...

As a result we've watched a few movies in the last 48 hours. I was so impressed with two of them that I had to do a bit of digging on the net to find out just how 'based on a true story' they are. And yes, there was good reason to feel inspired, and the tears I shed were well deserved.

"Door to Door" follows the life of Bill Porter who starts his career as a salesman despite his cerebral palsy. With his Mum encouraging him to be "patient" and "persistant" Bill overcomes all sorts of odds to be the best, and eventually the only, door to door salesman in his company. Most of the news stories about him were published in the 90's but it seems that he's gone online now!! I found a picture of Bill and Shelly, his friend and assistant. They did an excellent job of casting in the movie. You can't see it in the pics below but the actor (on the right) had ears that stuck out just like Bill's.

"Freedom Writers" is a new realease and is probably easier to get a hold of. It's a common story... new teacher faces tough culturally diverse class that no-one wants to teach and revolutionises their lives. The fact that it really did happen makes all the difference for me. She turned these guys around by showing them how similar gang mentality and racial hatred was to the haluocaust. They even decided together to raise the funds necessary to fly Mr Gies, the woman who hid Anne Frank and her family, to speak to them.

What impresses me about Erin Gruwell was her ability to gain the trust of her students. They told her their stories through journals she encouraged them to write in every day and by understanding the issues they were facing she identified what her students needed to grow and learn. Erin fought and sacrificed for these kids. A lot of them went on to college (first in their family etc) and have started a foundation together called Freedom Writers which promotes acceptance and innovative teaching.

Multiskilled guardian of the peace in training

2007-09-28T18:40:00.000+09:30

Teachers need more skills than the average bod on the street could ever imagine.

Today a bunch of girls were jostling around the corridors at recess carefree and full of delight. Two of them were students of mine who come, on rare occasion, to my Yr 11 Psych class. Raising her hand for a high five, a blue fur tiara'd teenager excitedly announced "It's my birthday and if you can believe this Miss R.... I'm coming to Psych today".

By this stage I was a bit suspicious. HIGH FIVES!!? For a split second I wondered what she was on. The thought was quickly dismissed though, afterall, it was the last day of school and the girls birthday. What silly 17 year old wouldn't be excited!!?

In the staff room less than 10 minutes later the senior school co-ordinator came by....
"Jo, don't expect (blue fur tiara'd student) in Psychology next lesson, she's been sent home"
Without thinking twice I asked, "drunk, huh!?"
"Yep"

Teaching 101 - take notice of your instincts

Oh!..... and

2007-09-27T23:40:00.000+09:30

right up the top of my list somewhere is going to be the rediscovery of my sense of humour. It's been holidaying in Madrid somewhere and kind of got lost on a some top shelf in customs.

Spring clean

2007-09-27T16:39:00.000+09:30

This morning I spent an hour reading some of Carolyn McCulley's articles and blogs (thanks to Kristy , who put me on to her). Carolyn is American, and an author, who seems to have negotiated some of the challenges of long-term singleness. As is often the case with people who write books, she is a bit of a super woman and it could feel like a big ask to start 'measuring up', but more than anything I was challenged in areas that really are within my grasp. Infact, just choices away.

My holidays are here now and I'm going to put a decent amount of time aside to redirect my steps.

Hebrews 12:12-13 says, "... strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed"

I have felt lame this year. I have behaved as though lame also, to the point where there is dislocation that I will now need to work hard to heal. There has been no "lifting my eyes to the hills" or "delighting in the Lord". I've just looked at the mountain of challenges I see in my work at school and dissolved.

There is purpose in this season regardless of how painful it seems, but if I am not choosing life I could miss it. When I start putting the practical steps I need to take down on paper I know they will be addressing how I use my time and emotional energy, without a doubt!

Mount Gambier

2007-09-26T05:58:00.000+09:30

This is a map of Mount Gambier, population around 25,000. I thought I'd give those who don't know much about me or Australia a run down of the city I'm living in... if you can call it that ;) Needless to say I'm not spending a lot on petrol!! And while we are living on the cusp of an extinct vocano, you couldn't really say "the Mount" is situated on what most would call a mountain either, but anyway....

That big blue spot near the bottom of the map is called the Blue Lake. It's the most well known tourist attraction in the area because the water goes bright blue over summer. Apparently this phenomenon was a big mystery until they found out it was just a special algae.

The upper south has the highest rainfall in the state. Sad to say, Australia is in the middle of a long hard drought so green land is rare. As we come in to summer it will be even more scarce even around here.

For more have a look here. There are some great shots of the places to see locally and a beautiful arial photo of the town.

The Pieces Fit

2007-09-24T06:36:00.000+09:30

One of my friends emailed me the lyrics to a song by Considering Lily, called "The Pieces Fit". It was brought to mind by the pic she saw here on my blog about Jesus making all the pieces fitting. I thought it was worth posting here because my life is a little bit like jigsaw at times .... so thanks Thea!

For a snippet of the song click here

Considering Lily - The Pieces Fit Lyrics
I was like a jigsaw with pieces missing, square peg and round hole
I'd try to climb a ladder but always slipping, high jump short pole
I was stained till he came and cleansed me,
I was torn till he came to mend me
It was a match made in heaven from the moment we connected

His grace for my shame
His death for my blame
His stripes for my pain,
And the pieces fit
His joy for my grief
His hurt my relief
My doubt his belief
And the pieces fit
And the pieces fit

I was like a story without an ending, a mystery with no clue
A maze where each direction is deceiving, with no one to lead you
I was confused till his answers reached me
Unaware till he came to teach me
It was a match made in heaven from the moment we connected

His grace for my shame
His death for my blame
His stripes for my pain
And the pieces fit
His joy for my grief
His hurt my relief
My doubt his belief
And the pieces fit

Its no wonder I've been made whole
since I surrendered my heart and my soul

His grace for my shame
His death for my blame
His stripes for my pain
And the pieces fit
His joy for my grief
His hurt my relief
My doubt his belief
And the pieces fit

His grace for my shame
His death for my blame
His stripes for my pain
And the pieces fit
His joy for my grief
His hurt my relief
My doubt his belief
And the pieces fit

And the pieces fit
And the pieces fit
And the pieces fit
More Considering Lily Lyrics...

Forgetfulness, culture & birthday surprises

2007-09-22T10:03:00.000+09:30

I have the worst memory. Most peeople I've known a long time expect me to forget their birthdays now and say it's just one of those things they love about me! (Hmmm) Well, it didn't feel like such a loveable quality on the 19th when I totally forgot my new housemates 25th birthday. I had no gift, left home that morning with no more than a wave and a "have a good day"and even told her I'd be at home group when she sent me a txt to see if I'd be home for the evening meal.... which was infact her birthday dinner.

What makes the situation particularly bad is that Esther never complains about anything except the selfishness and independence of Australians around her. I have to agree with her, we tend to do things the easy way and get a bit slack in our commitment to others. Having been raised in Singaporean culture Esther is used to certain consideration and thoughfulness that we over here are just too layed back to take on. And here I was, giving her a prime example of yet another Australian so caught up in her own little world that she totally missed an oportunity to spoil a very well deserving friend on her birthday.

Esther's forgiven me, though I wonder how. This whole thing reminds me that I can't just give up on these memory issues and wait for the next incident. Plans need to be put in place. I'm sure I'll be raising these things again in the future musings.

Just a few mintues ago Esther mentioned the surprise party they nearly had to celebrate my birthday in late August. Though it was called off because one of our friends had this impression I'd be offended, Esther and a few of the others had atually got things underway, stashing food away, planning the cake and all. Having dinner out together on the night was great. I was oblivious to the cancelled party plans. But I'm touched to know a few people had been willing to go to all the trouble - especially with me as forgetful and disorganised as I HAVE BEEN with birthdays.

I love His way!

2007-09-21T21:16:00.001+09:30

I know I'm blessed when I watch a romantic movie and instead of feeling very sad and sorry for myself I experience an overwhelming sense of being loved. Worship and thankfulness is the only thing on my mind now.

Should I or shouldn't I?

2007-09-21T06:53:00.000+09:30

My friend Steve gave me a loan of his 8 setting dining table when I moved into this house. It's been great, but he's engaged to Kristy now and in a few months they'll need it for their new home and I'll only have my 4 seater again.

I've been thinking about buying a new dining table but there are so many decisions to make.

This is the one I like....

Nice, huh? It's hardwood and has straight legs with a semi-rustic look so I don't think it will date too much.

I've always believed in buying quality if you can afford it, but it's still not cheap. I love it, but do I really have to have it? How important is entertaining at a table? Do I need to have a new table I like, or would any old second hand one do? Where will I be living next? Will I be able to fit it in where ever I go?

I've been to the shop to put a deposit on it about 4 times, but end up leaving.

Indecision!

Sorry Joanna...

2007-09-20T06:59:00.000+09:30

Welcome to my first ever official blog entry!!

There are far more pressing things I could be doing in the precious moments before school ... preparing today's lessons, marking psychology assignments, writing up my last class of reports. But ya know, it always gets done and who can resist inspiration when it hits. I find that more fits in when you have less time and the occasional mad dash around the house to make sure you meet an immovable deadline can be entertaining in moderation!

Had an interesting experience trying to set up an account here this morning. Someone was already using MY email address!! Don't know how that is possible really, cause I've been using that particular address for 10 years or more. But there it was, smattered bits of information about someone elses exisitence. Not enough to say I was about to obliterate a life's work, but 'Joanna' had used the account this year. After having the password sent to me I got rid of everything so I could start again. I feel a bit sneeky really.....

..... but I'm sure I'll get over it!