The flip side

Have you ever noticed that there are seasons of fruitfulness and others where the tree is dormant? maybe it's full of leaves, but fruitless. This is only natural. A tree can't fruit all year long. On top of that its potential for fruit needs time, water, nutrients, sun.

It's not easy to see productivity and purpose when our soil is being turned, branches pruned and there's months (or years) on end of 'nothing' going on. We can be so fixated on outcomes and so unaware of the importance of the journey.

It came to me this morning. As real as my hunger for God and my own inability are, how can I know His fruiting schedule, or presume to tell Him when fruit should be evident in my life? In all honesty what do I have to complain about anyway. There seems to be leaves sprouting everywhere right now....

* I'm building a house with God's blessing
* There seems to be a purpose for my home because rather than erring on the side of caution in relation to size and mortgage repayments as would seem wise, I felt encouraged to extend myself
* I belong to a church that have accepted me despite my 'spoil brat'ish behaviour.
* The desire to foster young people again is growing week by week and there are already others sensing some leading to support me by offering to train as respite carers.

How it will all pan out is still unknown, but at least there's a flip side to the struggle. Maybe one day I'll be so engrossed again in loving kids around me and trying not to stress about how to meet their needs, that my own will be easier left to God.

Who knows, the emergency chocolate biscuits might even start lasting long enough to make it to home group!!