The latest

Adelaide
Term 1 holidays are here and Esther, Christine and I (the current household mentioned here) were in the car 15 minutes after the bell Friday for the 5 hour drive to Adelaide. Besides a bit of socialising and shopping my main reason for going was to attend the SASTA (Science teacher's) conference.

It's good to have a few days out of your normal environment. Now that I'm back in the Mount a part of me feels refreshed and ready to get into the odd jobs and lifestyle change I've lined up for the next 10 days.

For more D&M stuff...

Grief
I read Kristy's latest blog last night. It affected me in a way I don't understand fully. I pushed through writing the beginning of my work blog but didn't have the heart to finish. At dinner 'out' with my parents nothing seemed worth talking about and I didn't feel like eating much (a very unusual state of affairs!)

I've been reading a book I bought at Koorong this weekend called Deadly Emotions: Understand the mind-body-spirit connection that can heal or destroy you. I'm only half way through so I haven't got to the bit with all the answers yet, but by bed time I thought it was probably a good idea to talk to God about what might be troubling me so deeply, rather than letting it 'fester and rot'. I didn't seem to get far. As soon as I started describing the despairing sadness I felt for Kristy I began to cry hysterically. When I calmed down I would try to talk again and the tears would start all over.

I don't think I have been given a special 'God given burden' for Kristy, nor do I feel I was so close to Steve that I would be feeling deep personal grief. Maybe it's this...

for the year that they were together I think I lived my dream through them in some way. I delighted in seeing two people I respected, and had come to care for, enjoying the blessing of a God ordained relationship, and marriage, like that I have longed for myself. Now that it's all changed I guess I have to face the realities of life - God ordained relationships aren't 'it', for me or those around me. I just don't get what he's up to with any of us. What is there in this life and how can can a person come to a place of clarity amidst so much need and disappointment?